Jun 29, 2006 - 11:43 pm
My husband died 4-15-06 I get up and go to work most every day, I do ok there but fight not to go home. Today I was going to stay at my moms, drove aroung a while then drove home. The feeling of being lost is overpowering and my heart feels broken. If it werenot for my 12yr old son I think I could go to sleep and not wake up. My husband was a singer/musician and I have a cd of his singing that I must play all the way to and from work just so I can hear his voice. My son does not understand why I need to listed to it so much. He to missed his Dad but I guess I'm not doing something wright maybe not handling it wright. Got to go throwup again, just thinking about him so much and the pain he went through that last week make me ill and that all I can think about when its time to go home from work. Maybe I could have done more to help him maybe I should not have done the DNR Maybe. Today I found out that over 1.3million dollars was spent on him to keep him alive 23 months, for that on one person is the reason there is no cure. The last 2 months he was just exsisting not living. Now I.m just exsisting not living.