I'm new here, My name is Meredith and I'm 28. My dad has been told he's got bone mestatis secondary to Esophageal Cancer. In 2003 he was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma type Esophageal Cancer. He went through surgery, radiation and chemo at the Helen F. Graham Cancer Center in Wilmington Delaware. Everything was fine and he was told he was cancer free in December 2005. A few weeks later he had some problems with his J-tube and was hospitalized with the result being the J-tube being removed and he was put on a PIC line with TPN feeding.
Today we; dad, mom and I found out that the cancer once again reared it's ugly head and struck dad again. This time it has been found in both legs, his pelvis, a rib and a lung. It is stage IV and his oncologist says he can't do surgery because it is stage IV. All they can do is Chemo to stop it from spreading even more. He's on high doses of pain medication for his pain (some type of strong Percoset that works continuously).
I am hurting so bad and struggling to make sense of something that is senseless, to come to terms with him possibly dying from this. I feel so alone and like I'm falling into a big black hole. There are times when all I can do is cry, and other times where I'm ok. I know that my dad needs me to be strong for him and mom, but I don't know how to deal with all this again, and I don't know if I CAN go through this again. I'm a Christian but I'm struggling with how this can happen and I question my faith in this; I know that God is in Control and that this is part of His plan for dad and my family. I need someone to help me deal with this and to let me know that what I am feeling is normal and ok.
I'm still living at home due to my own medical problems and such.