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ct scan

kellydinniss
Posts: 16
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi all you may remember us from previous postings-my husband steve d was diagnosed stage 3 rectal cancer in mar 04. He had chemoradiotherapy pre op and chemo post op. He last had a CT scan in July 05 which thankfully clear. we haven't posted for a while as we have been trying to get on with our lives and have been busy with a now 2 year old. He has just had another scan and we are awaiting the results and all the old feelings of vulnerability and terror have returned. He also has to have a colonoscopy next month. I just feel like there is a huge cleaver hanging above our heads which will determine what will happen next. some days I can be positive and others i can't see how our future will be OK. He is mostly very optimistic but I'm sure is scared. It just feels like this stuff goes on forever and you can never be free from it. Sorry to rant on but i know that you guys are just the only ones who really understand-friends and relatives I think move on and forget sometimes that we are still living it. love to you all kelly

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 7878
Joined: Aug 2005

I'm just coming up on my first post-treatment colonoscopy next month. Well said about the cleaver....
I have been busy since colorectal dx, breast ca...none related. but still question every little ache or pain that ca is back. But I then just shrug and enjoy life, hug my mom (82, 2x survivor), and find something to laugh about every day. You ARE NOT dwelling in the past, this stuff is life-altering, and sneaky!
Hugs
Kathi

littlejulie's picture
littlejulie
Posts: 311
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi Kelly,
I'm happy to hear Steve's last scan was clear and I'm looking forward to hearing about the next clear scan. I can understand and relate to the anxiety of waiting for results. All I can say is keep busy! I would imagine with a 2 year old thats not hard. POSTIVE thoughts only Kelly!!! My mothers scans just came back clear and she went through the exact same stage and treatment as your husband...at the same time as well - March 04. He has a good prognosis! STAY POSTIVE!

julie

Let us know the results - A NED posting always brings good energy to the board

GOOD LUCK!

chynabear's picture
chynabear
Posts: 483
Joined: Jul 2005

Kelly,

You are so very right about this going on forever. When I think about that, I try to put a positive spin on it and take it as a reminder to improve my health, a reminder as to why I have again taken up jogging and trying to lose weight and get back into shape, a reminder as to why I gave up eating junk (I'm still weak sometimes) and as a reminder as to why I started trying to change my attitude to the positive.

It's hard sometimes. Especially when we have any change in our bodies or any new pain. It's harder to find that inner voice now to determine if it is serious or not because everything feels serious.

I am due for my 3 months scans this month. I think I am going to try to put it off until next month as I am hoping to have the "okay" to get a PET/CT instead of just a CT.

The point is to "remember" where you have been and to remind yourself that it doesn't mean that's where you'll be again. And if it does come back, you take a deep breath and fight again.

Let us know how it turns out and good luck.

Patricia

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1973
Joined: Apr 2004

Thanks for checking in Kelly!!!!

I've been wondering about Steved. We miss his posts but I am thrilled he is enjoying his life with you and your son. Tell him hello from me.

Now.....the testing we all have to have really is stressful but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Steve knows too but is being careful, once you are diagnosed, the thoughts of cancer never goes away. But the cleaver gets smaller over time.

Keep us posted and again give Steve my best.

Lisa P.

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Kelly....I have been NED for some 14 months now and I can tell you that no matter what tests are coming up I always get tha heebie jeebies...I am pretty sure Jen does to. Unfortunately it is the nature of the game we are playing. I have to admit it gets easier but there is always that element of anxiety no matter how we feel.You are right....only those of us on this site really understand that awefull feeling. I often have friends "on the outside" say to me there is nothing to worry about now. Sure, I try not to dwell on it but once cancer has visited us I think it will pretty much always be a part of our lives even in years to come. All the best to you and Steve,
Ross and Jen

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