To see your loved one in a hospital bed

JADot
JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi Semi-colons:

I've taken my cancer diagnosis and treatment in stride. I am currently whirling the big bad Folfox by the tail without a second thought. I've always thought of myself as being a pretty tough cookie, but today I found out just how hard it is to be a care-giver and to see an loved on in a hospital bed.

I took my husband in for his colonoscopy in the same hospital where I was diagnosed. I was completely overwhelmed by the flood of emotions to see the love of my life in a hospital bed with IV and oxgen hook-ups. I had to leave and take a crying break in the bathroom when he was in recovery after the procedure. My heart skipped several beats when the nurse told me that the doctor wanted to talk to me - the same doctor who found my tumors 3 months ago. My heart was in my throat when the doctor said he had taken out 3 benign looking polys. The polys are now with the pathologist for further analysis. The doc said we had no reason to worry at this point.

Ever since my diagnosis, I've focused exclusively on my disease, surgery, chemo, nutrition, supplements and day-to-day survivorship stuff. Today taugh me what I thought I had known, that I am not in this by myself, and that without the stregth and care of my family, I would not be 1/10 the survivor that I am.

My husband is still asleep from the seditives they gave him for the procedure. When he wakes up I think I'll thank him for being there for me when I was looking helpless in a hospital bed, 7 times, in the last 7 months. And to thank my Mom for going to Chemo with me. It can't be easy to watch your child being hooked up to receive a dose of poison.

Being a caretaker for one day has humbled me.

So have you hugged your caretaker today?

JADot

Comments

  • markwalled
    markwalled Member Posts: 5
    #2
    thank you for reminding me to be tell my wife. you are right on. God bless.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    If you can imagine, my caregiver is my best friend, my lover, my love, but also a doctor himself. Trained to "heal the sick". I had never seen him cry until he saw me fighting a particularly hard cramp during one of my three bowel obstructions, knowing there was nothing he could do except hold my hand. You are right, we as survivors get caught up in our personal fight, and in some ways its a lonely fight, because even though our support team is around us, we have to focus on fighting the beast totally. I, like you, have seen the "other side of the bed", being a caregiver for many years before I was challenged with cancer. I thank my team as often as possible, for it is VERY HARD to watch the struggle.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences. Caregivers have definately earned their wings in my opinion. Hugs to each and every one of them!
    Kathi
  • nanuk
    nanuk Member Posts: 1,358 Member
    #4
    This really brings it home for me. as i was a caretaker to my wife almost 20 years ago..it is much more difficult to be a caretaker than it is to be a patient! There are many caretakers on this site who are heros..they deserve a forum of their own. Bud
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    #5
    nanuk said:

    This really brings it home for me. as i was a caretaker to my wife almost 20 years ago..it is much more difficult to be a caretaker than it is to be a patient! There are many caretakers on this site who are heros..they deserve a forum of their own. Bud

    I guess many here would notice that over the past 2+ years I have always signed off a post with "Ross and Jen".I have also often referred to Jen as "my angel". That kinda sums up my love for her(wife of 32 years). From my point of view there was nothing worse for me on dx than the thought of Jen possibly losing me...and that scared tha hell outa me! Watching her coping throughout my ordeal with surgery, chemo and complications was just about as hard as dealing with the disease myself. Sure...we cried together...but we also talked together. She tolerated my often often agro state of mind...and my changing attitude and emotions.
    And throughout it all she remained a rock, full of courage and strength!
    ONLY "ANGELS" CAN DO THAT!
    So to respond I have to repeat myself and echo your thoughts JADot.....carers are a special breed because they suffer as much as we do. The main thing is that we recognise that.
    You get a hugg from us JADot,
    Ross(((((((((((((((((((JADot))))))))))))))))))Jen
  • 3greatkids
    3greatkids Member Posts: 45
    #6
    wow!!you have brought tears to my eyes (as I type this I am crying) I am watching my husband fight this terrible monster, and figured we had pretty much had it under control (as I still hope we do), however yesterday threw a wrench into the whole thing as they want to do a bone scan just to be sure there is no signs of it there. They are fairly certain there is not, but until we have those results, well you all know how that feels. My husband was so great with everything, and is very confident that the scan will be okay, but I just broke down (had to call my mom and get a good cry out). Anyhow thanks for making us feel so special.....
    Oh and by the way, I am sure it is the same for most of us caregivers out there, just so you guys realize YOU FIGHTERS ARE OUR HEROS!!!!!!
    God Bless
    Sylvia
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
    nanuk said:

    This really brings it home for me. as i was a caretaker to my wife almost 20 years ago..it is much more difficult to be a caretaker than it is to be a patient! There are many caretakers on this site who are heros..they deserve a forum of their own. Bud

    You know, you're right, Bud. I'm going to the web master and suggest that!!!! What a GREAT IDEA! A place to share about all of the angels. Wow!
    Kathi
  • lfondots63
    lfondots63 Member Posts: 818 Member
    #8
    Hi Jadot!

    You have hit a great point. I will make sure I stop the inner focus to say thank you more often. Hugs to you and tell us how hubby is doing.

    Lisa
  • jana11
    jana11 Member Posts: 705
    #9
    Wow... such an important post. I try to tell my hubbie often how wonderful I think he is, but I feel words don't cut it.

    Good reminder to us all. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. We are all better for it. jana
  • bsrules
    bsrules Member Posts: 296
    #10
    Hello,

    I sign on to read the posts and see how everyone is doing. Some days it is very hard to read them as the memories of the fight that my husband had with this monster and unfortunately lost rush back and it is hard to realize or understand how we get through each day. As the other caregivers have said, " You guys are the hero's!! " We are there to try and make it easier for you guys to get there!!!

    Being a caregiver, I couldn't of done what I did for my husband Bob without you guys!!!! You all were there for me if not with info with GREAT support or just an ear to let me vent or share my fears!!!! You all are the anchor that we as caregivers need to help us help each other!!!

    Thank You All for that!!! Also, Thank You for still being there for me and the others that have been left behind to try and understand why things happen the way they do. You all are very special people each in their own way!!!

    Love Always and Forever for Everything You do!!

    Sue and my Beloved Husband Bob - who will always be my Hero!
  • terril
    terril Member Posts: 296
    #11
    Hi JADot!!!
    You have such a lovely post. This brought tears to my eyes. My dad brought me to chemo the first time around. This 78 year old man wanted to " be there no matter what. You are my little girl." At times it would just hurt me so much as I imagined what he thought as he watched his daughter receive chemo because she had cancer. I heart goes out to you and your husband. You have given such a powerful post; it has made us all to be so thankful for family and friends. For the semi colons on this board, we are truly caregivers, too. Thank you JADot again for you wisdom and caregiving!!! Terri
  • JADot
    JADot Member Posts: 709 Member
    #12
    Hi fellow survivors and caregivers:

    Thanks so much for listening to me and for sharing your thoughts and emotion on this. Our families, friends, doctors, and you, all the fellow survivors on this forum - are the healing wind beneath us survivors' wings.

    JADot

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