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Just found out my mom has cancer

helpels's picture
helpels
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2006

In the last 2 weeks they discovered a tumor in her lung and told us it's non small cell adenocarcinoma. I'm feeling very helpless right now being the only child. I'm married with 3 kids and my husband went thru prostate cancer with his dad but I'm still feeling alone. Can anyone help?

scb222
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2006

I may not be able to help, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Back in November my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and she is only 53 years old. When I first heard the news I panicked. I cried all the time. I couldn't sleep. Honestly, I could barely breath. I want her to see me get married someday and meet her grandchildren. But I assure you as time goes on it gets much easier. Medicine today is amazing. The more I read about it, the more I realized that this is not the end. My mom has a real fighting chance and she will be stronger once she gets through this. To feel like I am not helpless – I get very involved in learning everything I can about her illness, I make sure we are very thorough with the doctors and I try to help my mom stay focused on the positive. By far the hardest part is keeping her positive, but I think it is most important. It has not been an easy road and I know it won't be for awhile, but I know it is not the end road and things will get better. If you want to talk feel free to shoot me an email. You are not alone, so many of use are going through this with you.

helpels's picture
helpels
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2006

The one thing my mom always says is she is sad that she'll not see my 3 kids grow up (12,5,6 mo.). She's been such a big part of their lives, especially the 12 year olds. It is also hard watching my dad go through this. I've never seen him so compasionate in his life. It hurts knowing that he feels terrified that he may loose her. Thanks for the reply.

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 7878
Joined: Aug 2005

I wrote this also to Staph, but it applies to you, too. Yeah, I remember when my mom told me she had uterine cancer...I was crushed. But, she survived that, then got breast cancer, survived that. Moms are pretty tough. Now the things reversed. I had colon and breast cancer. I am surviving, too. But you are right, this is a great place to go for support, also under the individual cancer forums. My colon cancer, to tell the truth, should have me gone by now. But I had 37% survival turnaround to 95%. It was squamous cell. Yeah, skin cancer in my colon. Never could do anything right. Tell mom to not give up, hope is a VERY powerful weapon. Also a good laugh got me thru some bad times.

There are also general chat rooms here off the main discussion board. All cancers there. Not just doom and gloom about ca, also about trips, getting together, food. Just a fun place. Warning, you MAY get addicted, I have.

Take care, and lots of thoughts
Kathi

O4U2BN5
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2004

How are you holding up? Been there too. If you need anyone to talk to we are here.

jengurb
Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2006

My dad was just diagnosed with esophageal cancer that has spread to his liver. My kids are also extremely close to him as am I. I spend my days looking for new treatments. Luckily he is in good shape and that will help him. You have to keep the faith and refuse to believe that the disease cannot be beat. I put signs up all over my dad's house that say "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION". I even put one in his wallet so that when he is getting his treatments he can take it out and look at it. Positive attitude is a must. I'm here to talk if you want. Jen

DianeLillian
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2006

Jen, what a great idea with the signs around the house. I guess I would think my Dad may be uncomfortable with that though - did you ask him first? Or just do it? How did he respond to it. Email me anytime! DianeLilli@comcast.net

kathabarta
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2006

i am new in the area my frined. i have my friend having the same problem. I may not help you physically but i must say onething that you aer the only hope for her and it is the hardest time for her. you should not loose hope my friend.you are here for standing tall beside your mom. i think you will and i think you are capable enough to handle the situation; emotionally, and sensibly. i am feeling the attachment with you my friend!

DianeLillian
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2006

I know how you must feel. My Dad was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer last year, and just recently found out it's further along than they thought. Hormone therapy hasn't worked and he will have his 4th Chemo therapy 4/28 - on his 50th wedding anniversary. I wish I could say more than this, but I am in the same boat as you, and I understand the hopelessness you feel.

formymom
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2006

I just found out in early April that my Mom has Ovarian Cancer. I didn't know I had that many tears. She had an optimal surgery and is undergoing chemo. (18 treatments in all) My Dad, who just retired last year, is her main care giver, but we all try to help in whatever way we can. This has changed our lives forever. My Mom is my best friend and I am still having a hard time believing this is happening to her. She has such a positive attitude and a strong faith in God and it is very contageous. She is an inspiration to me and everyone she meets. I hope that your Mom is doing better. Please try to keep a positive attitude even when it is hard to do anything but cry. You will have your good days and your bad days while helping her to cope and heal. God Bless you and Your Family!

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