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cancer has spread

BonnieR's picture
BonnieR
Posts: 1549
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi Everyone, Yesterday was my appointment at the U.The Dr said the cancer was showing up through out my abdomen and yes it was cancer in my lung. The area around my heart has some problems and he thinks it is causing the shortness of breath. On Friday I have a echo cardiogram. Today I got my first dose of gemzar, he said we'd try it once a week for 3 weeks and then a week off. It is hard on your platelets so it may have to be reduce to 2 weeks on 2 off. I asked if it would shrink the tumors. He doesn't feel at this time it will shrink it or knock it back, but hopefully will slow it down. It was a hard blow. He also said I am coming to the time that I will probably end up in the hospital off and on and needed to know to what extent they should try to keep me alive. I was taken by surprise, but understand he needs to know. He asked if I wanted to be put on breathing or heart machines. I told him no. Of course I cried some more, you'd think the tears should have run out by now. If they haven't stopped by next week I will probably call and ask for some anti depressants. Today they thought it was just all the anxiety and it would get better. Guess now it's just a wait and see if the gemzar starts working. Thanks again for caring and also for sharing your walk, I always look forward to everyones posts. And just to let you know I haven't given up yet, I guess it's the stubborness in me. :-)

Prayers and hugs to all

Bonnie

mopar
Posts: 1954
Joined: Apr 2003

Dearest Bonnie:
My heart aches this morning as I read your post. I pray this doctor gave you a dose of compassion along with his message. And your family, do they know all of this? There are no words to express what I am feeling right now. But you know, from our past correspondence, that HOPE is still the operative word. And His PEACE is STILL yours. Beyond that, know that you can e-mail me anytime, and that I think of you always and pray for you and your family. It takes so long for antidepressents to kick in. Would anti-anxiety medications be more helpful? What about pain medication or something to help your breathing? Sometimes when the pain is subdued we can tolerate things so much better. Your comfort should be a priority also.
Sending HUGE HUGS your way.
Talk to you later.
Monika

mssue's picture
mssue
Posts: 243
Joined: Oct 2003

Oh Bonnie,I can't find the words as I read Your post I can't help but cry toooo!I am praying for You - may God Bless You ((((((BIG BIG HUGS)))))))
Hurting Heart-Sue

loverley
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2006

I don't know what to say to you...I am sitting here crying for you and praying for you very hard. How do you cope with that kind of news? I think I would completel lose it. You sound very strong. I hope you have family and friends and faith that there are miracles sometimes. If you need to talk I could use the distraction while I wait my appointment so I will keep checking the board to check on you. When you feel up to it I have a million questions but don't want to pry at a time like this...don't give up but do give it up to a higher power.

annefrances
Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 2005

Bonnie,
I have been reading your posts since July 30, when our family found out my twin sister had ovarian cancer. I wanted you to know how much your posts full of support and love meant to mean to me. I have added you to my prayer list and hope that your reports get better..Please keep us informed..God Bless You love, anne frances

JanQ's picture
JanQ
Posts: 238
Joined: Jan 2004

Oh Bonnie I cannot believe this is happening, I am so sorry. Is there nothing else your doctor can do, any place you can go?
You have always inspired me you are such a women of faith, hold on God is still in control.
When I found out the cancer had returned my cousin met me with xanax, I had never taken it before it helped so much, I put a half under my tongue and very soon was calm.You may want to ask your doctor.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything else I can do please let me know.
God bless you, Bonnie

Jan

groundeffect
Posts: 651
Joined: Mar 2003

Oh Bonnie, I feel so bad for you! Please look into some sort of anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication-it may help you feel better and think clearer.

This is a tough road we travel; I hope you'll be able to pull through this setback and be able to continue the walk with us!

I hope God will give you the strength to stay with your family for a long, long time.

paula57
Posts: 93
Joined: Jul 2005

Bonnie, I haven't been able to get on line until today. I'm so sorry. I'm going to go back to my cousin and her treatment. Diagnosed Oct 2001, 6 rounds of carboplatin and taxol, recurrance in colon 2003, major surgery (but no bag)and radiation, recurrance April 2005 in colon and intestines (refused anymore surgery) Since then she has had two cisplatin at the start and gemzar. She is still on gemzar and doing good. She is on it 2 wks and off one. What I'm trying to say is don't give up! You have been our rock. You know what to say and when to say it. We need you! Think possitive, that this chemo will work, at least for a while. You have family and friends that really need you. My prayers are with you! Paula

kitsmom
Posts: 7
Joined: Mar 2003

PRAYERS and HUGS to YOU!

AuthorUnknown
Posts: 1563
Joined: May 2006

Dearest Bonnie, they had told me in the chat room that you had gotten this info. My prayers are with you...Much Love Teri

jamilou's picture
jamilou
Posts: 202
Joined: Mar 2005

Bonnie
I am thinking of you and your family and hoping that your faith and all the prayers coming your way will see you through.
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Jami

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