Husband going for surgery next week

Hi there. So sorry that you have to be here, but oh, what a wonderful place to be, if you need to.

I am a 1.5 year stage 3 rectal cancer survivior. I too had the 6 weeks chemo radiation, surgery, then followed up with 6 or so months of more chemo. It's a tough road, but there is a fantastic life over the mountain. I never thought I'd feel good again. But, here I sit doing pretty well. Not back to "normal", but I'm really happy.

I can tell you about my experience, but remember, everyone is a bit different, even with the same treatments. It depends on how your body tolerates the treatments, your physical health before treatment, your mental health and attitude.

I had a very great chance of having a permanent colostomy after my surgery. ( as the tumor was very low in the rectum ) Turned out I didn't need one. My recovery was slow but steady.

We can give you tips on recovery and bathroom stuff.

Believe it or not, I think the toughest part of this whole journey, was going into instant menopause at 42. I'm still trying to deal with all those side effects.

General advice: After surgery, walk as soon as you can and as often as you can. It will help get your bowels moving and get him out of the hospital faster.

Drink lots of water. Flushes out many many toxins.

Try and eat wholesome foods when you able ( after surgery) The food in the hospital can kill ya

For the surgery, get an epidural not morphine! A spinal epidural will keep you "with it" and take away the pain. Which in turn will help you heal faster.

( this may be "anal" but, I took those disinfectant wipes to the hospital. No matter what pain I was in, I wiped down that seat. There are lots of germs in there. ( the hand sanitizer by his bed is a great idea too)

After surgery, rest when you need to, but walk as much as you can.

Things for the home:

A soft toilet seat ( if you don't already have one)

A and D ointment for his sore bottom.

pants with elastic waist bands. for healing.

I'm sure there are a ton more ideas the others will add.

If you and your hubby can keep a positive outlook, it will help tremendously.

On another note, make sure you take time for yourself. It's very difficult being a care giver.

I have 3 school aged girls. 7,14 and 17. My husband and I always tried to keep it light around them. We called chemo "bug juice" and made numerous butt and bathroom jokes at my expense!! We laughed all the time. ( funny, I remember my best friend coming in to visit me in the ICU step down unit. She had me laughing so hard I felt like I was going to pop my staples!!)

I hope you can take something from this long winded post.

Please ask anything. We are here to help your husband AND you!!

Barb

Hi,

Sorry to hear about you husbands diagnosis. I was diagnosed this past Feb. Had surgery for rectal cancer in Sept after doing some chemo and radiation.

I wanted to add the suggestion to be very careful for 1-2 months after surgery as to what your husband eats. I wound back in the hospital twice after surgery with some sort of blockage. I don't know if it was slow moving bowels that were stunned by the surgery or adhesions. I seem to be completely better now and able to eat anything. But for that first month and half, eat small meals more frequently instead of big ones. And it might be advisable to watch the fiber intake.

Run this by a doc of course, but I think its best to give your guts an easy time post surgery without overloading it with hard to digest foods.

I wish I had been more careful - might have avoided being re-hospitalized - which was not fun at all.

Best Wishes
Maria

I, too, was diagnosed with Stage III simoid colon cancer in September (2 nodes positive). I was able to have laproscopic surgery which wasn't too bad -- but no piece of cake either. I agree that walking as soon and as much helps. Also push the fluids. Lots and lots of water to remove toxins AND keep things flowing out of the body to avoid urinary track infections while hospitalized. I'm 43 with 3 kids and my diagnosis was a total shock because I felt fine and am very active. I was off work completely for 4 weeks and then worked about 1/2 days. Once chemo started I found I had to miss work the day of chemo plus 2 days after ward and then could work the remaining 7 days of the 2 weeks cycle (at least so far). My big side effect was being totally worn out! I got tired just getting up in the morning. It's been 2 months since the surgery for the colon and then another month since the surgery for the port and I've made it through 2 rounds of chemo so far!
I found that this is a great place to get information. Also, check out books on nutrition for cancer patients and ASK YOUR DOCTOR EVERYTHING you want to know.
Best wishes and keep us posted on how your husband is.

I went to a Christmas Tournament high school basketball game tonight. I remembered being at this tournament 3 years ago after I had just been told that I had stage IV colon cancer that had spread to my liver (and lungs too, I just didn't know it). The colon specialist told me my tumor in my liver was inoperable and that I had maybe 2 years to live. It was a very low point in my life.

I had 10" of my colon removed and then 6 weeks later, after getting a second opinion from a liver specialist at Duke, I had literally 1/2 of my liver cut out. Since then I have taken most kinds of chemo and have had many complications that put me in the hospital. Also, I have had thoroscopic surgery to BOTH my lungs and the little cancer devils just keep coming back....

OK, not too rosy a picture thus far, but.... I feel almost normal most of the time now and can still run a mile in less than 8 minutes and beat the best player on the undefeated rec league 15 year old basketball team I coach...

I mention this, because I have two teenagers and I fully remember what it is like to be in your husband's shoes at this juncture.

It's very unfortunate to get this stuff at such and early age, but being so young, he can take a lot of abuse (if necessary) and still come back strong! I have not beaten this stuff (yet), but I have had many more good days than I expected, regardless of what happens next.

I am going on a cruise to Belize next month and plan to go skiing at Park City, Utah as well in February.

3 years ago, I never dreamed I would even still be around at this time, much less be able to do anything physical.

I recommend getting plenty of exercise, even running if he can... this will improve him physically (and perhaps more importantly) mentally.

He can get through this.

3GK -

Not much to add to what my learned colleagues have already told you.

I would say that your husband may be "testy" for a while - it's normal and it's not a reflection on you or the kids. It is difficult to deal with it when your body "betrays" you the way his did. All I can offer is tat it's probably a guy thing. Be sure to treat yourself and the kids at times. You will be spending a lot of emotional capital and you will need to get it back in some form. A spa day or just a movie out is a good way to knock the edge off and "escape" for a while.

Be well, take care of yourselves. Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

- SpongeBob