Nov 28, 2005 - 3:48 pm
I am 38 and 2 months into my process of stage 1 breast cancer, full mastectomy, sentinal node surgery, expanders put in and now chemo. At the time of my life where I really need my husband, he seems to have emotionally and physically left the building. My husband is a person who was always very expressive and would love to have sex every day if he could. Since my surgery, we've had sex twice in two months. He is very distant and even his hugs are very superficial, not a nice strong hug like you would need at a time like this. Has anyone else experienced this? Do I have to face the fact that my marriage is going to be another casualty of this disease? I feel so alone and really have nobody to talk to about this. The only thing I can feel is that I look completely hideous with my huge scars, the port, the node scar, the hair loss. I look like a disaster area -- maybe he can't even look at me anymore, I don't know. Does anyone have anything similar? Does it come back or do I just put that stress on the back burner until I'm done with my treatment? I've talked to him several times, he just says he doesn't want to hurt me (physically I assume) and doesn't know where to touch that won't hurt. I don't know what else to think other than maybe the diagnosis was too much for him and he wants to leave or I look awful and just turn him off now. Help.