Hey all! I'm new to the group. I finished up my treatments (35 IMRT radiation and 3 6 hour bouts with cisplatin) for cancer of the right tonsil and upper palate (T3N1M0) in January of 2005 I never had a feeding tube and consequently lost 40 of the 160 pounds that I carried on my frame. I've since gained back 10 pounds but still look like a concentration camp survivor. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror.
My taste is just a fleeting memory. Where I once really enjoyed eating, now I just eat to survive. " The dinner was really good tonight honey." Yeah right, like I could actually tell. My wife looks at me like I'm from Mars when I tell her I can't taste something. So now I just play along like I can. It's very frustrating and I feel alone out here sometimes.
I go in for another checkup next Thursday and the anxiety is almost overwhelming. I'm keeping a positive outlook but it's not easy sometimes.