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telling new friends

adelinak
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2005

i just started my son in kindergarden and he has new friends and play dates..i scared to tell any of the moms that i have cancer(hd IV) & going through chemo . i dont want my son to loss his new friends.i ve been lucky w/ chemo ,no hair loss..almost no side effects. you would never think i was sick by looking at me. i want to keep it to myself but my son tells his classmates when i fly to the cancer center for chemo...suggestions please

TheSunCameUp
Posts: 8
Joined: Aug 2005

WOW this brings back memories. When I was diagnosed I had two sons, one in pre-k and one in kindergarden. My treatment was aggresive MOPP/ABV. After a swift education reading every text journal I could about the chemical I was about to be hit with I came to the reality my hair would fall out and it would be sooner thatn later. Being a man it was less dramatic. However to see your parent with clumps of hair dropping off is a bit "shocking" So I informed everyone of my treatment and got a cre cut to take away the drama. My advice would be get your hair cut to a length that is managable with a wig and start wearing a wig asap if that is the rout you want to go. I went through treatment with several ladies and some choose to to with the cool bandanna mom hip look. It was great that everyone knew what I was going through and I had lots of parents asking to let my children go do things with them and thier children. It gave my kids a shot at maintaining a normal happy fun filled life even when old dad was under the weather. I did gain alot of weight do to steriods and by halloween became a 280Lbs Uncle Fester stunt man. So rather than hide I dressed up like Fester and off to trick or treat we went. My kids were the stars of the town. So my point is embrace your journey, it is your time so use it to do what you want to do when you want to do it. Laugh at your self and the crazy things you are gonna go through, if you don't you will cry or go insane. Ok the insane part will follow you around anyway but hey I am sane and the rest of the world is crazy. We have the hard part, we have to keep everyone with a positive attitude, we know we are gonna win our battles now we have to convince everyone else.
So do not be scared, be honest people are not used to that and they do appreciate it.
Robert
BTW- The chemo really did a number on my GI tract during treatment and my gas would make a dog blush. My kids still talk about taking dad to the grocery store after lunch and walking me around which caused a release of gas that would make you gasp and your eyes water when you walked through it. They laughed so hard and still tell that story anytime we meet new friends. Talk about an ice breaker!

lhodnet
Posts: 62
Joined: May 2004

I am so sorry that you are going through this with your son. While I can't offer much advice
(because I went through this when my child was 2-5 months old) I can offer some.

First off, please do not be ashamed of your condition. If anything, people will think that you are a hero of some sort being able to handle everything AND your treatment.

Cancer is a part of your life and it has forever changed you. Your son isn't afraid for people to know, he seems proud of you and he doesn't know it now, but he is very very happy you are alive and doing well.

Honestly? If someone brings it up, be honest. I found that honesty is always best. I can understand you wanting to keep this inforamtion to youself. But you never know, you just might find a whole other support system that you never knew existed!! :)

((hugs))
lisa

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