Jul 13, 2005 - 8:36 pm
Hello Everyone!!! I have been off line for a while. I have been trying to get myself together mentally to make the trip to CT. I don't know if you guys remembered last year the car show to CT. Well, it is that time already. I wasn't going to go as I don't want to go without Bob. Well, I am at the point now that I don't know what to do. I finally got the cars out of the barn and cleaned. It took me a long time. It just isn't the same. I called up there 3 days ago to talk to Robert Jr. and he still can't bring himself to talk to me, which has got me very worried as to how things will be when I get up there. I am afraid of what will happen. I called Audra last night to see if she was going to make the trip and she just told me through her husband that she didn't know. I feel like the door is being slammed shut on me. I called Bob's brother Erv and told him that I wasn't going and he refused to take no for and answer. I tried to get the car packed today but I just couldn't do it. All I have been doing is crying the last few days and I know that it isn't going to get any better. I know that Bob would want me to go but I don't think he would want me to put up with anything there. I just would rather stay home and hide like I have been doing. This is going to be a huge hurtle to jump over and I don't think I am ging to get over this one. I don't know if it is because it is being so far away from my safety zone. I want to take Bob with me but I don't know how that would go over with everyone else. I know that must sound morbid but I don't know what else to think. I am sitting here watching the time go by knowing that the hurtle is coming up fast. I guess I am being foolish. I just don't have it in me anymore to keep this going.
If Erv manages to get me in Bob's car to go I will be gone until Sunday night. Which seem like a very long time right now.
I want to Thank everyone for making me feel welcome here!!! Hope all had a GREAT 4th of July!!!!
I know you guys have more important things to worry about!!!! Thanks for listening!!!!
I haven't heard anything from Judy or her daughter? Has anyone heard from them?
I will do my best to keep going!!!!