I have been apart of this site for over 6 years yet didn't know that this existed. I too am glad to find a place to talk with others who are like me. When I was looking for a support group there wasn't a gay one to be found and people couldn't understand why I wouldn't go to a straight one since this seems to be about women's issues. I have never liked making straight women squirm and that seems to be the case when I talk about my relationship and my love life. Hard to find straight friends that want to support my gay ways, lol.
I am openly gay in the real world but have found myself closeted again on this site. I am not sure of what my son would think of me hiding my true identity when that just isn't me. I haven't talked about being gay anywhere on this site because I know how most people feel. I was so fortunate that my girlfriends mother was one I could share everything with yet sparing my girlfriend from most of my pain. For those who think that cancer can keep people together they are sadly mistaken, cancer drives people apart and we are just fortunate when our lovers are there for us able to stand and hold us up when we needed it. I had been sick for 6 out of the last 8 years and finally feel like we are getting our lives back. But the reality to our lives has never stopped and therefore have had to face so many other tragidies that cancer seems really like nothing now. I am so lucky my girlfriend found it in her to stick this out for our lives have really changed over the years. Remember, as much as one there is the other and that is true in all facets of our lives. Never give up hope for we can be so much better than we were and our lives can be that much better. I always say what the hell I was doing before obviously wasn't working since cancer came into my life. I have done so much to change the coarse of my life and that has given me more hope than I had ever had before through all the years.
I think I have finally mastered what it is I have control over and what I do not.
thanks for being here for me,
Love to all,
Tara
Joined: Apr 2005
I'm new to the discussion boards, too. Nice to have a place to talk about the effect cancer has on relationships. My partner and I had been together exactly one year (found each other at mid-life) when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has been a tower of strength for me, especially keeping me engaged with living when I wanted to give up and sink into depression. We've been making lifestyle changes (food and exercise) together, so that we can be together a long time.
A year ago March (3 years after surgery), we went to Portland to get married. Even though that legal status is now nullified, we celebrate our commitment anyway!
My partner's mother has also had breast cancer and we have formed quite a bond over that.
May you two live long and prosper!