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Well here we go again

pjenks57's picture
pjenks57
Posts: 112
Joined: Nov 2003

I need to vent so where do I always go... Here. Hubby has been going thru chemo since Oct 21, 2003 and here we keep right on. I am frustrated and he is devistated. He is on the 5FU cocktail (what ever you call it) with avastin and oxli... and the cancer only dropped from 3.3 to a 3.1cm in the liver and we now find that there are 5 nodules rather than the first thought 2. The tech thinks since we changed CAT machines that there may have always been five but no one knows for sure.
ANYWAY back at it again. He finishes the last 6 treatments today and in two weeks starts his next 6! YIKES. I feel SOOOO hopless and helpless. Why can't I do something. I pray and pray and cry and cry and it doesn't help. I know, I know. I am being positive to him but this is the place where I came come and smoke my keyboard and really cut loose.
You people are a God send to me. I have thru this found church and another family but you are still my first family. I can type and type and no one stops me! lol...
My pastor and I talked on day and he told me to see Jesus in my mind and to crawl up on his lap and let him wrap his arms around me and to sit there and cry on his shoulder until I feel better. It WORKS! sometimes I think his legs have to go to sleep cuz I stay there for so long, but he never complains.

THANK YOU. I had to get this out or burst.
I Love you all.

Shandle
Posts: 205
Joined: Apr 2005

ohhh pjenks.... I can just feel your frustration sweetie. I sure like the thought of curling up in Jesus lap. The best thing you can do is just be there for your husband...be his strength when he can't...and ask God to give it to you as well. suround him with love, and that you'll get through this together. Please don't let it bring you down. Stay in touch with your friends and family, your pastor, and us here at this site. Vent all you want and we'll be here. God Bless you... Huggggs Wanda

pjenks57's picture
pjenks57
Posts: 112
Joined: Nov 2003

As I sop up my tears. Thank you and God Bless you and yours too :)

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hiya..geeee....I wish Jen wasn't at work now or I could get her to reply to you. Jen has been my "angel" for the past 2 years and knows full well what you are going thru. And I really do think that you guys are "angels". I had my liver scans done yday and I know that until I get the results it will be eating away at her.
Stay kind to yourself too--you are no good to hubby if yah fall apart...be strong sweetie..we know it is hard.
luv n cuddles from oz, kanga n Jen

rejoyous
Posts: 259
Joined: Nov 2004

At least your husband is strong enough to stay on the chemo. That's remarkable. I'm sure he's getting a lot of his strength from having a loving partner and caregiver. So from all of us who are relying on our saintly partners, thank you. Please let us support you as much as we can here.

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