Apr 05, 2005 - 9:53 pm
I went to the chemo doctor today and my counts are up, so I'm starting FOLFIRI tomorrow. That's the good news. The bad news is that he says that if this doesn't work, then he doesn't think we're going to beat this. He said he would make sure that I would be comfortable. They put me on the patch for pain and I'm to take the morphine also, until the patch takes effect. Then if I still have break through pain, I'm to take the morphine. The pain patch is called duragesic. He said it's stronger than morphine. I also will have to take the shots for the white and red blood counts while I'm doing chemo and he's also worried about my nutrition. I lost 3 more lbs. I'm over weight about 20 lbs so I don't really understand why he's worried about this. I admit, I have no appetite. He says to make myself eat. I don't know, I'm just kinda confused right now. I'm not ready to give up, but I have to admit that I am getting really tired. My tumor is continuing to grow very aggressively. Chemo doctor says we really don't have much time to shrink it, but no one will touch it like it is now. I almost feel like I'm being told that it's just to prolong my life. He doesn't really feel that he can cure me. I don't know what to feel right now. Anyhow, Just wanted to let you know, that chemo is on for tomorrow. Please pray for me.