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my mom has ovarian cancer

all4mom
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2005

I could really use a penpal/mother-figure to help me get through this terrible disease that has hit my mom so very very hard. My mom has about 6 months to 1 year life expectancy. Even though Im 36 years old, I feel like a child still, and don't know how to handle what is yet to come. I am the oldest of 4 children, so I need to be strong for my siblings, and provide comfort for them and my mom right now. I could really use some advice on how to help my mom and my family.

mopar
Posts: 1950
Joined: May 2003

My heart is breaking as I read your post. I won't relay my experiences right now (sometimes it's just not the right time). But I will say that we are here for you. Having been through that and more, we can honestly say we KNOW what you are going through.

May I just ask what the doctors have done so far for your mother - surgery, chemo, etc.? I'm the type of person that sees beyond what the 'world' says. My faith is my rock, and I'm certainly not implying it will cure all. But that is what gets me through it all. So when someone tells me there is no 'hope', I don't accept that. There is ALWAYS hope. But I also need to be proactive and be sure that I have done everything I can for myself (and my family). So, what stage is this? Again, is this just one doctor that has given that prognosis?

I too find myself the 'strong' one for everyone else. However, I hope you have someone to lean on for your support. Here is a good starting point. You definitely need to vent. But it's also a good place for other information. So please don't hesitate to give us some details. We are not doctors, but as I said we have all been there and many of us are still going through it.

Continue being the rock that you are. Right now, just do what you can to make your mom comfortable. But I sincerely encourage you to seek out advice on the details of this situation. Please let us know. Until then my prayers are with all of you. May He take your fear and replace it with peace. And may He be your srength, and your Mom's too.
Monika

BonnieR's picture
BonnieR
Posts: 1549
Joined: Jan 2004

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Many prayers are coming your way. I will watch for your update as mopar has asked the questions that I have. Know we are always here for you and also the chatroom has many people on it that are both caregivers and survivors to talk and share with. Feel free to email me if you want and I'd be happy to be an email pal.

Prayers and Hugs BonnieRose

Padawan60
Posts: 13
Joined: Feb 2005

I'm so sorry for what you're going through and can understand your pain. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 35, and am also the oldest of her two children. It may sound strange to hear this, but in a sense you are fortunate in that you know your time with her is very limited; I never really knew how sick my own mother was until it was too late, and can think of dozens of things I wish I'd said to her before she died. You have a chance to make sure you don't leave anything unsaid, which is good (if painfully sad). Also, if she is well enough, perhaps you can go on a family trip of some kind; only eight weeks before my mother died, we went on a short vacation and had a great time, and I cherish those memories immensely. It's tough to have to be "the strong one" in the family, but if I can do it so can you. Feel free to write back if you'd like to talk further.

groundeffect
Posts: 651
Joined: Mar 2003

I know you're feeling some real pain because of your mother's prognosis, and my suggestion is for you to call the closest office of the American Cancer Society and explain her situation, and ask if they can help YOU. I've become a believer in the power of support groups, even though I've been a stalwart loner for most of my life.

My group has survivors, husbands, mothers, sisters, and others in attendance at times. We've recently been joined by a mother who lost her daughter, and wants to help us with our endeavors. Typically, women with OVCA don't have a lot of energy, and if they work and/or have children, a healthy relative can help with any project they may would like to undertake.

Many people take comfort in being able to do something to help others in a similar situation.

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