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Loss to Cervical Cancer

LostLove
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2005

I'm new at this chat/message thing. So,here goes.
My Wife, my one and only Love, of 20 years passed away December 28,2004. I was her Caregiver 24/7. I had to be with her no matter what. She was my life...my universe...my reason for being. She fought a long hard battle for over 18 months. She had 24 sessions of External Radiation, 2 sessions of Internal Radiation and 6 Chemo (Cisplatin) treatments. By the time she was correctly diagnosed, she had Stage 3 Cervical Cancer. It was not a tumor of sorts, but a mass involving the pelvic region, nerves & kidneys. Operating was not an option. She went from 130lbs to 78lbs the morning she passed away.
I miss her terribly. I cry and cry some more. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere or talk to anyone. I just want to be with her. The pain of losing her is excrutiating...blinding if you will. I'm not crazy...I have a broken heart.

We have a son and I must care for him now. I promised her I would.

I'm alone now and hurting....any response is welcome.

SharonEL's picture
SharonEL
Posts: 21
Joined: Jun 2003

Hi. I am very sorry for your loss. She was lucky to know such love in her short life. I am glad you have your son to keep you going. I really have nothing profound to say. All I can do is give you a cyber hug and hope that with time your pain becomes more bearable.

kcurrens's picture
kcurrens
Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 2004

Hello. I am so very, very sorry. I agree with SharonL that your wife was lucky to have your love and support. It's okay to miss her, okay to cry... you may always miss her and feel the ache of loneliness for her, but hopefully your pain will lessen with time. I still ache and miss my mother who passed away in 2000 from ovarian cancer. Even though she was 66, I still think she was too young.

I, too, am fighting the battle of cervical cancer, having been first diagnosed in June of 1999, having surgery and subsequent radiation and Cisplatin chemotherapy for 6 weeks. In 2003, I experienced a recurrence in my lung and liver and consider myself lucky to have had it found. They were able to perform 2 surgeries; then I underwent aggressive chemotherapy for 4 months. My CT scans were clear until August/September 2004, when disease was found again in the region where my lung was removed. The treatment was 6 weeks of radiation and six treatments of Cisplatin chemo. That went through mid-November. The treatment seems to have been effective, and now I hold my breath again between CT scans every 3 months.

I hope that you can find some comfort from friends and family and from your son. Take care of yourself.

nkern's picture
nkern
Posts: 37
Joined: Apr 2003

I am so sorry about your loss. You have found a great place at this website to find friends to talk to and people who understand. Your wife sounds like an amazing woman. I would imagine that she has a pretty amazing child too. After reading what you wrote I know he has an amazing father. I will pray for your family. Please don't give up.

kaddi
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2005

I am new. But not new to cervical cancer. I am so so sorry about your wife. she was so lucking to have someone that cares so much. My fiance' of six years left me and my children when I found out abot my cancer stage2b I went through radiation chemo and surgery that was almost 3years ago. I am suppose to have tests run every year for five years to make sure it has not returned. I have not been back to the doctor in 3 years because I can not afford the CT(3000.00)I tried medcaid they told me to come back when I don't have any income. I am a single mother. I have to work or we would be homeless. Or I could quit my job, be homeless but I would live because I could get my treatments. I'm sorry I just don't know when to shut up. You want to help me I am trying to organize a car wash to pay for my tests do you want to have one for me in memory of your wife?

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