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Loss of your love one

jelder
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2004

It has been 4 months since my husband of 12 years passed away. My children are 10 and 11 years old. I am trying to stay strong to be able to give emotional support to my children. For 21 months I stayed by my husband side trying to be a compentent caregiver. He is in a better place now, but I am so lost without him. I don't know my feelings because for so long I pushed mind away to comfort him or other loves ones.I gave so much of myself that now it scares me because now my children need me. I tell myself that once they get use to the adjustment in our home, then I can work on me.In the meantime I feel like I am going to explode one day and not knowing how scares me. I miss my husband so much. Thank you for letting me vent.

rosie43539's picture
rosie43539
Posts: 56
Joined: Mar 2003

Dear Jelder, I lost my husband of 31 years about 7 months ago and I feel your pain. Fortunatly my children are grown. It has to be very hard to be left with two young children to raise alone.And I can see how neglecting yourself would be very easy in order to see to the needs of your children. But grieving has to come, it will come. I know how lost and lonely you must be, apparently your husband was very young and I know it feels so unfair. My husband was 47, and had metastic renal cell cancer. He fought for 25 long months. He was my hero because he fought to the very end. I don't think people realize how tough a job it is to be the caregiver of the love of your life. Please find a way to allow yourself the time to grieve for your husband. You don't always have to be strong for everyone else. I am sure your children knew how very much you loved their father. So grieve with them, together is always better than alone. My prayers are with you.

riversl
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2005

I lost my husband 18 years ago to colon cancer. At the time I had 4 children (youngest 4). It was so hard for me day after day watching him die, knowing there was nothing I could do. Without God and his strength I never could have made it. I have remarried since but my love for him is forever in my heart. You will make it, I promise. I wrote a poem. Let me know if you would like to read it. God Bless You.

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