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how I want kids

tortal
Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2005

I had rectal cancer three years ago at 27 years old my boyfriend and Iare getting married and hes been talking about kids. He nows That I can't have any because of not having a period after treatment, but has any one ever heard of someone having them aftter everthing that you go threw with cancer.

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2600
Joined: Apr 2003

tortal -

There are people who have had kids after completing cancer treatments. These folks fall into one of two groups usually:

1. People who had treatments that did not leave them sterile. Since you said you haven't meunstrated, I'm guessing you had chemoradiation which caused early menopause? In that case you're probably in this group.

2. The second group is people who harvested either eggs or sperm and kept it cryogenically suspended so they could do in-vitro fertilization at a later date. Unless you had eggs harvested before your treatments, you probably don't fall in to this catagory.

There are, of course those folks who have miracle babies... there are a number of other options available if you want to have kids - surrogates, adoption, or you could just take mine. They're already potty-trained and eat grown-up food. They're ungrateful little @#$%s, though. Maybe you can teach them some manners...

Cheers.

- SpongeBob

aspaysia's picture
aspaysia
Posts: 257
Joined: Nov 2003

I will trade you mine for yours. I finally got a postcard dated Dec. 20 (my birthday) from Ko Pha Ngan Island on the Gulf of Thailand. It only took two weeks to get here. The little wench is sharing a bungalow on the beach with some friends and seems oblivious to what is happening all around her. Beautiful place, by the way. I'm just glad she checked her e-mail - I only had to wait two days for a reply. Two really bad days trying not to think the unthinkable - it was too horrible to contemplate.
Sorry to hyjack this thread but in answer to tortal's question, women in their early sixties - even older than me - have children by taking hormones to reve up the system after menopause. And they have successful pregnancies. At least the ones we read about.
Aspaysia, who is still steamed at her kid.

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

This is one of the hardest aspects of all this to cope with for some of us younger survivors( I am 31 - stage 3). I still don't know if I am fertile or not as have to wait tillthe end of chemo (end of this month thank god) to do a test to find out. I did bank some sperm before hand but would rather go down the natural path to having babies (we had or first the day after I had finished preop radiotherapy but probably want more).

it is harder to jsut test for infertility for women than it is for men and it is often a case of reduced fertility for some rather none at all. It is best to talk to your doctor about this an d probably see an obstretrics specialist to talk through options. Egg donation is done these days and there are options around adoption etc as Spongebob says. Don't give up hope either of having one naturally though as it may still be an option.
The other aspects to consider of course (that my wife and I have had to deal with in our own minds) is the geentic thing. I am not sre if you have been tested for HNPCC (geenitic predisposotion to having colorectal cancer)but it may be worthwhile considering due to your young age. You then need to consider the risk to any future child of passing on this gene. there is of course always the other naging douby about 'will I be around to help them grow up' which we all have to face.

It is a mine field of worried and concerns but the bottom line is my little one has helped me immensely fight this thing and I wouldn't be without him.

Hope my rambling and doubts are helpful- you may be able to tellt his is still something I am sorting out in my own head too,
feel free to email me if you want more info,
sTeve.

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1246
Joined: Mar 2003

I can understand how you would feel "cheated" if you were unable to have kids after your treatments. I was blessed with 3 kids before I went through everything. But if I hadn't, I would totally find ways around it. Adoption would be a great option. I have a sister who has no kids, and she and her hubby will take mine for weekends and such...all the fun without all the overhead! My kids were my motivation to fight the good fight, and for that I am eternally grateful. But not having kids does not have to be the end of the world. If you are still here and living and loving life, then everything will work out how your "master blueprint" intends.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. Gave birth to a beautiful baby. Ended up pregnant again, after all her treatments. Tests are indicating that the baby may have downs syndrome. She is now a wreck and is blaming herself. However, the test that is indicating this has only a 30% accuracy (alpha feta protein test). This is more associated with age of the mother, not the treatment she received from cancer.

What is meant to be is meant to be...may you feel comfortable with the "hand you are dealt."

All my best,
Stacy

P.S. Benefits of having no kids? Getting to sleep beyond 6 AM on any given day...not having to EVER watch a Barney sing-along...getting to eat Twinkies for breakfast without having 3 others following you and threatening to tell grandma about your poor eating habits...never having to wipe crayons off anything or anyone...never having to explain how your sweet daughter gave a boy a black eye...the list goes on!

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2600
Joined: Apr 2003

Nomination for the Semi-Colon Anthem:

I love you
You love me
We're a happy family

With a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me, too?

(of course we'd all have to be dressed like purple dinosaurs when we sing it)

timlou
Posts: 60
Joined: Jul 2004

As the mother of a young survivor of breast cancer, I know what you are going through. My daughter with breast cancer, my husband with colon cancer and both spouses are going to a young survivors coalition conference in Philadelphia Feb. 17-21 we are all going because there will be many great workshops and my daughter and husband want to attend the fertility ones as they also have no children. My husband Tim is attending the ones for surviving after chemo and the what happens next kinds. I am going to the caregiver ones, although I had breast cancer 12 years ago I feel like a newbie as so much has changed over these short years. There are very few experts in the field of fertility after chemotherapy. You must find one though. Your oncologist will probably say you are lucky to be alive and don't mess with things. Fertility specialists will look at your numbers and assume you are sterile. There is a Oncology Fertility clinic in Jacksonville Florida I am sure there are others across the country. When I get back from the YSC conference I will share our findings with you. God Bless, Louise

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