Cancer Survivors Network

I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. I'm glad that you'll be able to spend all of your time with your parents from now on, I'm sure it will be very meaningful for all of you. You seem to have done so much for your parents already, showing them just how much you love them. I know that you will be granted the strength to help your parents and yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Dear Ian:
I am so sorry for you. I just lost my Dad 12/11/04 to prostate cancer. I spent the last month of his life living with him and my Mom. It was so hard, but you know, what? It was one of the most beautiful times of our lives. I got to hug him, kiss him, take care of him, help my Mom. My Dad chose to pass at home so we had Hospice. They were great. I will not lie to you - IT WAS SO HARD sometimes but I would not give up that last month for anything. The first thing I can tell is come to terms with the inevitable and then push forward. From what I read - your Dad is terminal. All you can do is share this time with him and help him and your Mom. Try to laugh. We laughed a lot. We tried to find the humor in the horror we were surrounded by. I have been in charge of writing my Dad's memorials. We are having two. The first one took place 12/18 in Ocala, Florida. The second one is 1/15 in Miami, Florida - where I live - where my parents used to live. It is going to hurt, Ian. It is going to suck in ways you cannot imagine. I am writing this because I am looking for some outlet - some connection with other people that have just gone through it or who are going through it. Hard to find chatrooms on this subject. All I can tell you is - hang in there, accept what is coming, and make the most of the time you have left - MAKE THE MEMORIES. Love your Dad. Kiss him, hug him, smell him, take memoentos from your experience. And when it is over - try to reach out to people that understand. You will feel alone when it is over. You will not know how to deal with the real world again because you will become so isolated during your time with your Dad and Mom. Find the beauty. Make the beauty. Try to feel blessed that you have this opportunity. We used to tell Dad to go be angel because he would be one kick ass angel. I am sorry that you have to go through this, but learn from it. Blessings to you. If you want to E-mail my address is dcp186@aol.com - just please reference that you are Ian in the subject line so I do not erase you. Good luck.

WOW TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE BECAUSE I AM IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION. DOCTORS GAVE MY DAD 6 MONTHS A YEAR AGO--I AM CONVINCED HE IS STILL HERE BECAUSE WE NEVER WANTED THE DRS. TO TELL HIM AN AMOUNT OF TIME OR FOR HIM TO FEEL LIKE NOTHING WAS BEING DONE FOR HIM. HE IS 57 AND HAS STOMACH CANCER--IT HAS BEEN PURE HORROR TO WATCH HIM GO FROM A HANDSOME MAN TO WHAT THIS HORRIBLE DOES. IT IS PURE AGONY--MY TWO SMALL CHILDREN I FEEL ARE GETTING CHEATED FROM PROBABLY NOT REMEBERING HIM. YOU ARE RIGHT ONLY GOD KNOWS--I HAVE BEEN BLESSED THOUGH BY GODS UNDENIABLE WAYS OF SHOWING ME THINGS EVEN THOUGH THEY MIGHT NOT SEEM GOOD WILL BE OK. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS I WILL BE GLAD TO EMAIL YOU THE STORY. PLEASE KNOW YOU ARENT ALONE. GOD BLESS, BETSY BETSYCLEV1@COX.NET

Your stories have touched me in ways I can't even explain. My father was diagnosed with Mesothelioma and they say 12month. I have told him that no one can tell him how long he has to live. It is so hard watching him go through this. He was always such a strong silent man. He has a hard time talking about his cancer. In fact he doesn't even say cancer he calls it "this thing with my lungs". I know this is only going to get harder and that I need to be strong for him, my mother and my sisters. I thankyou all for your stories and have gained strength from them.

You are all in my thoughts.

Tammy

I am glad you titled it My dad. I am leaving my family (husband 4 kids)tomorrow, to go to my father's place for his first chemo appt. Monday. He has always had health issues, primarily COPD, so in some ways this is not new. We always thought he would die early, but when the doc tells you 9 mos, and 6 of them have passed, a kind of panic sets in. I know there is a purpose in all of this, but I'd rather learn it through someone else sharing! My emotions are all over the place and I can't get my act together to get ready to