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My Dad.

lanisnanny
Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 2004

My Dad fell Wednsday.They admitted him in the hospital.He has gotten so weak.They are giving him lots of fluids so now he is a little stronger.They did a ct scan and his tumors have gotten worse.The Dr. is only giving him a month but I know it is really up to God. I have quit work.When dad comes home I will be staying with him and mom from now on.I am so scared.That was the worst thing walking in that house and seeing my dad in the floor.I don't want my dad to die but I can't stand seeing him like this.My dad has never been this sick before.I feel so sorry for him and my mom.I pray that God will give me the strength to do what I need to do for my mom and dad.I love them both so much.

MiraT
Posts: 15
Joined: Oct 2004

I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. I'm glad that you'll be able to spend all of your time with your parents from now on, I'm sure it will be very meaningful for all of you. You seem to have done so much for your parents already, showing them just how much you love them. I know that you will be granted the strength to help your parents and yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

dcp186
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2005

Dear Ian:
I am so sorry for you. I just lost my Dad 12/11/04 to prostate cancer. I spent the last month of his life living with him and my Mom. It was so hard, but you know, what? It was one of the most beautiful times of our lives. I got to hug him, kiss him, take care of him, help my Mom. My Dad chose to pass at home so we had Hospice. They were great. I will not lie to you - IT WAS SO HARD sometimes but I would not give up that last month for anything. The first thing I can tell is come to terms with the inevitable and then push forward. From what I read - your Dad is terminal. All you can do is share this time with him and help him and your Mom. Try to laugh. We laughed a lot. We tried to find the humor in the horror we were surrounded by. I have been in charge of writing my Dad's memorials. We are having two. The first one took place 12/18 in Ocala, Florida. The second one is 1/15 in Miami, Florida - where I live - where my parents used to live. It is going to hurt, Ian. It is going to suck in ways you cannot imagine. I am writing this because I am looking for some outlet - some connection with other people that have just gone through it or who are going through it. Hard to find chatrooms on this subject. All I can tell you is - hang in there, accept what is coming, and make the most of the time you have left - MAKE THE MEMORIES. Love your Dad. Kiss him, hug him, smell him, take memoentos from your experience. And when it is over - try to reach out to people that understand. You will feel alone when it is over. You will not know how to deal with the real world again because you will become so isolated during your time with your Dad and Mom. Find the beauty. Make the beauty. Try to feel blessed that you have this opportunity. We used to tell Dad to go be angel because he would be one kick ass angel. I am sorry that you have to go through this, but learn from it. Blessings to you. If you want to E-mail my address is dcp186@aol.com - just please reference that you are Ian in the subject line so I do not erase you. Good luck.

ZELLARS
Posts: 34
Joined: Oct 2003

WOW TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE BECAUSE I AM IN THE EXACT SAME SITUATION. DOCTORS GAVE MY DAD 6 MONTHS A YEAR AGO--I AM CONVINCED HE IS STILL HERE BECAUSE WE NEVER WANTED THE DRS. TO TELL HIM AN AMOUNT OF TIME OR FOR HIM TO FEEL LIKE NOTHING WAS BEING DONE FOR HIM. HE IS 57 AND HAS STOMACH CANCER--IT HAS BEEN PURE HORROR TO WATCH HIM GO FROM A HANDSOME MAN TO WHAT THIS HORRIBLE DOES. IT IS PURE AGONY--MY TWO SMALL CHILDREN I FEEL ARE GETTING CHEATED FROM PROBABLY NOT REMEBERING HIM. YOU ARE RIGHT ONLY GOD KNOWS--I HAVE BEEN BLESSED THOUGH BY GODS UNDENIABLE WAYS OF SHOWING ME THINGS EVEN THOUGH THEY MIGHT NOT SEEM GOOD WILL BE OK. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS I WILL BE GLAD TO EMAIL YOU THE STORY. PLEASE KNOW YOU ARENT ALONE. GOD BLESS, BETSY BETSYCLEV1@COX.NET

Tammy271
Posts: 5
Joined: Jan 2005

Your stories have touched me in ways I can't even explain. My father was diagnosed with Mesothelioma and they say 12month. I have told him that no one can tell him how long he has to live. It is so hard watching him go through this. He was always such a strong silent man. He has a hard time talking about his cancer. In fact he doesn't even say cancer he calls it "this thing with my lungs". I know this is only going to get harder and that I need to be strong for him, my mother and my sisters. I thankyou all for your stories and have gained strength from them.

You are all in my thoughts.

Tammy

colsie
Posts: 24
Joined: Dec 2004

I am glad you titled it My dad. I am leaving my family (husband 4 kids)tomorrow, to go to my father's place for his first chemo appt. Monday. He has always had health issues, primarily COPD, so in some ways this is not new. We always thought he would die early, but when the doc tells you 9 mos, and 6 of them have passed, a kind of panic sets in. I know there is a purpose in all of this, but I'd rather learn it through someone else sharing! My emotions are all over the place and I can't get my act together to get ready to go, cause I just don't want to. It is good to read other people's thoughts though. Great to know others get it.
Colsie

voopie
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2005

Please know that I understand what you're going through. My father (73) was diagnosed this month with large cell lung cancer which has mets to his spinne and brain. Currently he's on 15 treatments of radiation and they want to start chemo after the radiation is complete. My faith in God is what is sustaining me though all of this, and God will give you the strength and patience you need to help your folks. My main focus is making my father as happy and comfortable as possible, while praying that he doesn't suffer any more than he has to. I'm an only child and I lost my mother to this disease in 1999, so I know the wave of emotions that surface. I go off to a solitary room and let my grief out so I can be strong for Dad. Enjoy the small things in life with him. And most importantly, let him talk. My Dad has been discussing his burrial wishes....a hard thing to swallow as a child, but he's relieved to know I'm respecting his wishes. Our bodies are just vessels for our wonderous souls...for I know my father isn't dying, just his body is.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Michele

unprepared
Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2006

I lost my mother in 91...she was 51. My father has just been diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoma. We are close. He's in Florida and I will be leaving to be with him and my step-mother this week. He has been given two months. He's only 66.
As close as we are, I am not sure how to relate to him...this came suddenly. No stage 1-3 knowledge of his condition.
We have never spoken of his death...I am at a loss. I know that the best thing to do...is just "be there"...hwo can I best help him cope with the levity and reality of the situation?
Thoughts?

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