Dec 15, 2004 - 11:58 am
i have not posted in a while cuz my computer went down and still is. i do read the posts from another computer. i am saddened by some and rejoicing with others. at this time i still do not know anything about me. my surg from mayo still has not given me an opinion on my films from sept. i am on a new treatment cpt 11 and erbutux. its kickin my butt too and i have a hard time some days. one day i spent the whole day crying i am just sooooo emotionally drained right now. i have been on some form of treatment for almost 2 yrs and i think it is starting to get to me. i know i should not complain i have so many blessings in my life like more time with my family, but sometimes its hard. i have multiple lesions in the lungs that i am waiting to hear if they are operable or not. my cea is 2.5 and that makes me uncomfortable. i am praying that all will turn out well and i will be blessed to be here with my children for years to come. not knowing is the worst. i would even be willing to have a lung transplant if that would solve this problem. i love Chirstmas and am planning to spend it with no side affects from chemo. i have treatment 3 weeks on 1 off so friday is my last treatment for a week. i will continue to fight this beast although my body feels as though it is just hollow and i could just fall over yet my feet keep movin and my smiles and helping others just keeps coming. i hope all of you have a Merry Christmas and may the new year bring better things. thanks for listening and any encouragement will do.