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ups n downs?

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi guys n gals. Feeling a "bit" happier now. My bloods checked out ok with CEA at 4--in OZ here its ok if it stays under 7(although it went up one point) I suppose fluctuation is normal? Sorry for bein awol--just got back from 3 days working with my son so need some time here to check out all the posts.
Unfortunately, if I may, I have some pretty upsetting news too. No--not real bad--well at least I really should be thankfull that my cancer is still in rem. I am!
BUT-Jen and I had to sell our house 18 months ago due to her being relocated(forced) and now we are in limbo again. Jen's job(emergency services administration--kinda like your paramedics) is once again on the line for relocation. We have had to consider moving again--over 100 miles away--or she loses her job. SO unfair after just getting things in order here. You will understand that we are both pretty pissed off!!!(scusey me french!) After my illness during the last 12 months and moving and rebuilding our lovely home we are now going to be forced to do it again!!-grrrrrr!!!!!!!
Sorry guys--I know this is really an unwarranted whinge--knowing how lucky I have been compared to others but,
just forgive me. We are so incredibly upset that this has come after our last 12 months--things were looking up. I am so sad for some of our friends here and some-one needs to make me snap out of it and not be so selfish. I guess I am really mad about it all because Jen has worked so hard for 17 years and they do this to her. She is so upset--I think it (my cancer and her job status) has really got to her. As her job is our sole income things are gunna get pretty tough if she can't keep it.
I really do feel selfish guys--
I know this is a pitifull excuse to vent--but you are family. I am just kinda lost and wonder why I bother trying to do it all again----guess I am just totally pissed off!
luv yu all guys, kanga

alihamilton's picture
alihamilton
Posts: 344
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi Kanga,

Sorry to hear your news....I do not think it is selfish at all to be upset by having to move again. I think that stability in other areas of our lives is so important when faced with this illness and all its consequences. If the rest of our lives is stable and settled, then it helps us the cope with the uncertainties of our situation. I remember how relieved we were to come home last January after my husband had radiotherapy/chemo in the UK as they did not have radiotherapy here at that time. The comfort of being home was wonderful and helped us prepare for the months ahead. Nearly a year later, I still feel this joy at being at home, so I can understand your feelings at having to move. Change is always difficult, especially if it is not wanted, but change when you have been through what Jen and you have been through, is even more of a challenge. Maybe there is a special meaning in all this, and it will work out well for you both. At least, it might help to look at it that way.

Good luck to both of you.

RunnerZ
Posts: 185
Joined: Feb 2004

Kanga,
You should not feel bad at all about venting! Life can be such a huge challenge without surviving cancer...then throw this stupid disease in, and all the stress related to it, and you have people who can feel overwhelmed pretty quickly. For a year or two after cancer I did not want to deal with the slightest adversity outside of surviving cancer. Often I would just hand the matter to my wife and say..."it's all yours". When we moved back to my home town (a 400 mile move) in year 2 after cancer, there were some really trying times. Let's face it, surviving this disease is no picnic. It took me about 2-3 years to really get my balance back in all phases ofl ife, including my energy reserves after chmoetherapy and radiation. I hope that your wife's job works out fine...everything WILL be O.K., you just have to get through it. You've already done the toughest part, just buckle your seatbelt and hold on for the rest of life!

MJay's picture
MJay
Posts: 132
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi Kanga-- Be ticked all you want. If push does come to shove you will be able to do it. I moved 10 times in 10 years with my hubby. Didn't know on my wedding day that I was going to be an army wife but a month after we married he joined up and was gone. At first themoves were like adventures. Then the kids came along and they weren't quite so fun anymore.

Five years ago he got out of the army and we settled here... in this none to fancy house in this none too fancy neighborhood and found HOME.

WE have been here for 5 years. My hubby has since gone back into the military via the Air Force REserves. He has since been activated, served over in Kuwait this time last year and now with my illness is pulling desk duty back here. I told him back when he was deployed that I wasn't moving every again. I tell him now, after the entire community has come out in support of my disease, that I definitely will never move.

But I know, in my heart of hearts, that we will have to move eventually. And I will make my fuss kicking and screaming and carrying on... but I will go. IT will be the hardest move in my life (and I have moved 15 times- around the country and world) but because I love him I will do it.

My phone bill gets more expensive each time and my christmas list gets longer. Also, my options for places to visit also gets bigger.

So go ahead and rant.... if you have to go you will but you will feel better because you got the whining and moaning out of the way.

MJay

MJay's picture
MJay
Posts: 132
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi Kanga-- Be ticked all you want. If push does come to shove you will be able to do it. I moved 10 times in 10 years with my hubby. Didn't know on my wedding day that I was going to be an army wife but a month after we married he joined up and was gone. At first themoves were like adventures. Then the kids came along and they weren't quite so fun anymore.

Five years ago he got out of the army and we settled here... in this none to fancy house in this none too fancy neighborhood and found HOME.

WE have been here for 5 years. My hubby has since gone back into the military via the Air Force REserves. He has since been activated, served over in Kuwait this time last year and now with my illness is pulling desk duty back here. I told him back when he was deployed that I wasn't moving every again. I tell him now, after the entire community has come out in support of my disease, that I definitely will never move.

But I know, in my heart of hearts, that we will have to move eventually. And I will make my fuss kicking and screaming and carrying on... but I will go. IT will be the hardest move in my life (and I have moved 15 times- around the country and world) but because I love him I will do it.

My phone bill gets more expensive each time and my christmas list gets longer. Also, my options for places to visit also gets bigger.

So go ahead and rant.... if you have to go you will but you will feel better because you got the whining and moaning out of the way.

MJay

andreae
Posts: 238
Joined: Sep 2003

Dear Kanga,

You have every right to be pissed. Moving SUCKS, cancer SUCKS even harder... Geez, you would think they could be compassionate and give you some down time! I know the littlest things can bother me at times... I cannot even FATHOM dealing with the stresses of a move! What about your health care team? Can you still work with them? I know I could never leave my doctors.

Anyways, you have every right to be mad. Go kick something - HARD and vent and I hope you start to feel better. Good luck to you and Jen. Hang in there.

Hugs and many positive thoughts,
Andrea

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Kanga,

Hang in there my friend. I read that one of life's most stressful situations is either losing a job or relocating from a beloved home. So you are entitled to vent - and after all you've been through - you have experienced in one year several of life's most stressful situations - it's amazing to me how upbeat you always are for everyone else. You have many jewels in your crown in Heaven.

I'm taking my pills (reluctantly) but I'm determined to do everything right and beat this disease once and for all. The LAST thing I want to ever say (or hear) is "third time is a charm"!

Today is a good day - hope it stays that way.

You and Jen are in my prayers. This disease takes it toll on not only the patient, but family and friends as well. Stay strong and remember it doesn't make any difference where you live, as long as you two are strong and together.

Happy holidays to you both.

Fondly,

Kerry

Lisa Rose's picture
Lisa Rose
Posts: 589
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi Ross & Jen,

So your pissed off ! ! ! Well you have every right to be. But moving is not the end of the world, it's just a big pain in the ass. But Ross everything happens for a reason... Together your a very strong team and you'll get through this as well, you'll see. Stay strong for Jen, just as she's been there for you!

Love To You & Jen
Lisa

Ps: I had my check-up this morning everything appears to be normal with no signs of recurrence anywhere. So that's 33 month's behind me but who's counting....

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2600
Joined: Apr 2003

G'Day, Mate!!

A CEA of 7? Must be that damn metric system...

Anyway, I'm with MJay - I don't do spring cleaning, I just move. It was sorta fun the first few years, but now it's not. I'm ready to settle, but I know I can't with my job. The good thing is that I keep the friends I've made and I get to go somewhere and make new ones. Only thing I don't like is being alone in a new town.

Anyway, there's a silver lining, Kanga, but it's OK to be pissed about it, too. It isn't all just people (althought I believe they're the most impoirtant thing) - there's also the money involved. Losing equity in a house, having to buy a new one, negotiating, getting a mortgage, etc. UGH!

Hang tough, mate - we're here with ya!

- Bob

fedester
Posts: 737
Joined: Jul 2004

hey kanga,
sorry to hear of the problem, and yes we are family and are here good or bad. not a pityful excuse to vent. cea is good news. everything happens for a reason and only one person knows why the man upstairs!!!.so from all of us in the states a big rainbow coming your way. we are here all the time for any reason.
all the best
bruce

MUGGINS
Posts: 35
Joined: Apr 2004

Hey, Kanga, I thought I would chime in with the others. Look at all the people who care about you. Life seems to throw alot of curve balls as we get older. I to am going through a lot of stress right now and I say the serenity prayer probably a dozen times a day. It reminds that some things I don't have control over and to leave it in Gods hands. I hope all will work out for you and Jen and maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Best of luck

aspaysia's picture
aspaysia
Posts: 257
Joined: Nov 2003

Sounds pretty heartless of Jen's employer to make you guys move again so soon. Even if you had not been sick it is barely two years. I am sure you will get over your understandable tantrum and find the strenghth to pack up and leave yet again. It is hard to believe that you would have trouble making friends in a new place. Look how many of us are on your side.
I moved in with my sister a few years back just in time to get sick and inflict myself on her good and caring nature. I do not think I have another move in me and pray that this will be it. I would not wish all that hassle on anyone.
Go ahead and *****. We still love ya. It's not like you do nothing else on this board. On the contrary you are one of the most upbeat people I know.
Aspaysia, who wishes you would stop smoking.

taunya's picture
taunya
Posts: 392
Joined: Jul 2002

Hi Kanga,
I am sorry to hear about your crummy situation. Go ahead and complain LOUDLY! That just stinks! My husband lost his job right after my surgery and we had to move 4 months after we moved to live THER for THAT job! Man was that a pain! I hope things will get smoother. I will keep you two on my major good thought sending list. Hang in there sweetie and don't feel bad about feelin' a little bad.
Love,
Taunya

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2084
Joined: Dec 2001

Hey kanga and jen,

piss and moan piss and moan. You have every right to let it out here! Geez, we all do.

I'm right there with you in the moving department as I did just that not 4 months ago. We sold our farm before we were "forced" to due to our incurred debt post cancer. I have "paid the price" for doing alternative cancer healing.....but I am alive and it was well worth it.

It is not easy picking up one's life and starting anew from scratch. But slowly we are carving out a life here in the North Woods and it has been a blessing....ya wanna hear the story?

FIL dies and leaves log cabin on 40 acres of forest. My dream has always been to live in a log cabin. Hubby and I wonder....what if we sold farm, got rid of debt and buy tiny cabin (1 bedroom w/loft and we've got 5 kids), move sled dogs (and donkey, goat and sheep) to the North country. Hmmm. Small town how to find job? I go to monster.com and type in Facilities Management (as I have done for at least 6 years) and up pops job in the town FIL lived in!!

Hubby gets interview. Hubby gets job. We buy cabin and sell farm for cash no contingencies. We find out hubby beat out 22 other people for the job and no one in charge knows how the job was posted on monster.com in the first place??

So now I get to walk on hundreds of acres of forest near the shores of Lake Superior, hubby has wonderful job--much better than the one he left by far!--sled dogs are happy, kids are adjusting (not as happy), and I have found local practitioners who are alternative minded. Joy!

There is a silver lining. I hope you will find yours.

The difference here between you and me is that I was dying from the stress of living under all that debt and wanted out.

You are just getting settled in for the long haul. I hope God has a bigger blessing for you on the next gig.

peace, emily who inherited a sauna with the cabin--TOTAL BLISS!

Kanort's picture
Kanort
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi Kanga,

Thanks for sharing your recent trials with us. Moving is definitely one of life's most difficult stressors!

I'm so glad that your counts are good, but so sorry for the move. Keep us posted on what you decide.

Hugs to you and Jen,

Kay

Btrcup's picture
Btrcup
Posts: 287
Joined: Jun 2004

Hey Kanga, 1st of all, good news about your CEA level. Sorry to hear about your dilemma. Moving sucks. My company moved in June and now my morning commute is an hour! I hope things work out for you and Jen. You are both such great people. You will be in our prayers.

Linda (Baltimore)

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Get pissed off and get angry- it is very healthy and wew all do it. Use all the French you want- we Antipodeans are known for our swearing- it is a national pass time where I come from. Moving is such a hassle and not something you need just now but it does open new opportunities- as one door closes another opens and all that.
I hope that things improve with time for you and your wife and never feel bad about using this site to off load- your invaluable conributions here regulalrly help others (including myself) so it is not selfish to expect to be able to offload on us in return. It is a two way thing.
Thinking of you,
steve.

nanuk's picture
nanuk
Posts: 1363
Joined: Dec 2003

Gee Kanga, look at all the travel, and new sights, friends, etc. Reminds me of a song by Ian & Sylvia
called "Sunny Side"..(Canadian Folk Singers from the
sixties, but still have a following with Me& Em-(dunno how she heard of them..I don't think she was born yet..)
Anyway, maybe you & Jen should buy a motorhome-(I think you guys call them Caravans..) I don't know how you handle it all; just the thought of having to pick up and move - I would have to have a very large bonfire.
Things happen for reasons I guess, and if your experience is anyting like EM's, your rainbow is just around the corner..
Congratulations on your bloods-at least you will have the energy to move...
Bud

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2084
Joined: Dec 2001

I've heard of Ian and Sylvia cuz I married a Canadian, eh (ok first generation yank but was born within spittin' distance of the border) AND is an old folkie--especially Canadian music. He once hitchhiked to Ontario just to find Gordon Lightfoot. So that's how. I was born in '61. Does that make me too young?? I cut my teeth on The Kingston Trio. That, I am sure, makes me old.

Sorry Off Topic..... :-)

peace, emily the joni mitchell fanatic--another canadian

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