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Is it time to give up?

mo94089
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2004

I've been battling OVCA stage 3C for a little over 4 years. This last year has been the worst, starting with the cancer becoming resistent to taxane/platinum chemo. Next came a bowel blockage for which I had surgery, but the bowels have not worked properly since and I'm in an almost constant state of diarrhea. I have not been able to eat much since the surgery and have lost nearly 100 pounds. For the last 8 months I have tried 3 different chemo therapies, starting with Doxil, then VP16, and am now on Gemzar/Cisplatnin for the 3rd treatment. Nothing seems to be working - CA125 is more than 3700 and rising. The Cisplatnin gives me a very bad reaction and I have to take extra drugs just so I don't go into shock. For 3 days afterwards I still feel drugged and can barely function, and all I can think about is I wish it would all end. I have no energy and have breathing difficulty, plus moderate abdominal pain. The chemo just seems to be making me sicker and not doing any good. I do start feeling a little better the last week of the cycle, but it's just not enough - then the chemo comes again and it starts all over. All I can do is sit on the couch and watch the tube. Any time I get up I have a hard time catching my breath. It's not much of a life, and I don't see that the chemo is doing me any good. I want to stop it and just let things take their course. I don't really have much hope for a miracle anymore - I did for a long time, but things have just progressed too far for me to hold out for hope. Is it time to stop the chemo and let my life run out?

Naama
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2004

Up to you really, do you really want to go on? do you think this life has anything better to offer you? I cannot judge you, but it sounds like you lost all hope

BonnieR's picture
BonnieR
Posts: 1549
Joined: Jan 2004

I am so sorry you have had it so tough. I know it has been only 2 years for me and a 7 month remission. I have had 2 bowel blockages, but didn't require surgery. The Dr says we'll manage the cancer now, not we'll get it.

I sit next to lady during my chemo who is a 6 year survivor of Stage 3c and she has had 8 different chemos. she is amazing. I tell my husband I don't know if I could stand to go through chemo that many times. Being sick, being tired, I guess a person doesn't know until that time comes for them. I know I am not there yet. Would love my grandkids to continue to look out and say there's my grandma. Would love to stick around and see them graduate. But know when my time comes and the quality life is so bad on chemo that I will gladly give up quanity. I know I am in a win win situation, so am not afraid of either obtion.

You need to talk with your Drs about how you are feeling and if there is anything they can do yet, and if your choice is to stop all treatments than make sure you check into hospice. They will help you through your next journey and keep you as pain free and as comfortable as they can.

I have added your name to my daily prayers. May you find comfort in whatever decision you make.

God Bless and thanks for sharing.

BonnieRose

PHOEBEW
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2004

See if uyou can find a TLK 286 Phase 3 clinical trial. My wife found one at MD Anderson in Houston and the first chemo slowed town her regression.

beaw21
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2004

I don't think it is really ever time to give up. I recently lost my mom to Ovarian Cancer and while I haven't gone though what you are, I know what it is like on the outside looking in. My mom suffered alot more when she was on chemo than she did when she wasn't. I'm in no way saying it is time to give up. My mom didn't give up. While she quit taking chemo and all she still didn't give up. She left it all in God's hands. She decided that instead of living what life she had miserable and in pain from treatment, she would live it as healthy as she could without treatment. Watching her go through the different stages was difficult but I knew that she was happier and healthier than if she was taking chemo. She lived past what the doctor's expected and she did it on her terms and in a happy and healthy way for her. She wasn't sick or unhappy. She valued life and I think that is what helped her die happy. I don't think you should look at things as "letting your life run out." Look at it as living it to its fullist and spending time with the ones you love in the best health you can. I think you will find it better for them and you. I hope I helped.

Denyelle

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