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need some support today

jana11
Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

Hi. I rarely post, but read and reply often. I had a great week last week, on vacation in New England with my hubbie. I got back Sat. evening.

I came here and saw Nettie's post, which tugged at my heart. Sunday morning I went in for my chemo and there was a woman there alone crying in the waiting area because of severe back pain. She got in pretty quickly (not soon enough though). She was getting her vitals done when I went in for them. She had just gotten sick on the floor and was embarrassed. I talked to her a bit and even got her to smile. Her husband and son had just left to go home and her physical pain couldn't be dismissed with the new emotional pain. When she talked about home and family her face lightened up. We then went our separate ways.

I got home and last night my mother called to tell me a friend of hers, who was diagnosed with melanoma less than 2 years ago. Her cancer advanced. She had multiple brain mets and surgeries. She passed away on Friday. This woman, Cathy, had flown to Houston for her care and surgeries. I would always check in on her and considered her a close friend. My mom didn't call me on vacation because she didn't want me to fly home for the services. Cathy was in her early 50's and VERY active. A truely wonderful person who will be missed. I felt close to her because she remained strong through everything... and I try to do the same. She even tried to WALK to her hotel after brain surgery - fortunately I got there in the nick of time!

OH, and Christopher Reeves, not a friend.. but another strong spirit, has gone.

So... sorry for dragging on. I just needed to vent to people who would understand. I am stage 4 and doing very well. I got my last oxaliplatin yesterday. 2 more weeks of xeloda and then the waiting game starts. Currently NED, but feeling more fragile today than before.

Thanks for listening. jana

StacyGleaso's picture
StacyGleaso
Posts: 1246
Joined: Mar 2003

Jana,

You know, everytime I read one of your posts, I think, "That is EXACTLY what I would have said." YOU are remarkable. You are such a fighter, and if I recall correctly, also part of the medical field (physician, I think?) as well. YOU have accomplished so much in your life, and having gone through this whole experience will certainly perfect your abilities as a physician. You can honestly say to patients, "I understand" and MEAN it! You need to focus on how far you have come! It is amazing when you look back and think of the journey and how happy you and your family will be once your treatments are done.

With regards to the passing of your friend, I offer my deepest sympathy. Just imagine how relieved she is now, not feeling the pain from the disease itself, as well as the treatments. She is now at peace, and that is a safe, good place for her. Yes, she was young, and it is unfair.

Now...go buy some goofy Halloween decorations, carve a pumpkin, roll in some leaves, and enjoy this wonderful time of year. YOU are still here, and in the words of Mastercard, that is PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All my best,

Stacy

fedester
Posts: 734
Joined: Jul 2004

dear jana,
i'm sorry about the passing of a loved one, you said she was a strong person. i'm sure she would say the same about you. she is at peace now. now we have to get you back on track.
1, you are ned !!!!!!!!!!!
2, you are almost done with your treatments !!!!!!
3, you are a true survivor
4, keep positive
5, stay the course
6, we are here for you(the whole family)
7, sure kanga is going to send one of his rainbows your way (right kanga)
you have come along way and must continue
we need a group hug !!!!!!!!!!!
all the best
fedester

allsmiles
Posts: 25
Joined: Jun 2004

Dear Sweet Jana,
Today the sun is shining and you are being sent lots of hugs through this communication. Each day is a gift...full of emotions...good and not so good. We are all losing people we love and have met through this process and it is so sad...some friends just lost their 24 year old son. But we must pick ourselves up, feel the sunshine, smile at someone, give ourself a hug and through lots of prayer we get through the day.
Please know you are thought of often.
Grace

nettie4
Posts: 145
Joined: Mar 2004

hello my friend. i am sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. we all go through each day not knowing if it will be our last whether you have cancer or not. time is a gift and you are gifted as a doctor so each day you have to shine a light in a dark place for a patient is one more person to make a difference in their life. time is precious as we all are aware and we must use it wisely. you are still NED and those words make the heart happy. may you continue to hear those words and may you use your talent and the experience of what you have been through to give someone the courage to face a medical or even emotional challenge. you take care and blessings to you.

nettie

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2600
Joined: Apr 2003

Jana -

You are a rock here with the semi-colons. Your advice is, as Stacey mentioned always right on the mark. We're always here for you. You know, glass is only as fragile as what's behind it. When a hurricane is coming, people put up plywood to protect the glass. That's what semi-colons are. We're always here for you - and we'll be your plywood anyday - you're so many other people's plywood!

Be well.

- Bob

jana11
Posts: 708
Joined: May 2004

thanks to you all. I actually feel much better now. Greatly appreciate all the kindness here.

Wish you all the best. jana

steved
Posts: 836
Joined: Apr 2004

Great to hear you are feeling better in yourself- amazing what a healer even a short period of time can be.
Sorry to hear of your friend passing away- it is hard enought o lose people close to you but with all you have gone through sucj loses hit closer to home to than normal. My wife and I have also found that with out even being aware of it we use up a lot of our coping resouces on getting through the day to day hassle of dealing with this disease that any extra stress or upset really hits home. But as always, given a bit of time and rests, that passes and the good times slowly come back.
So keep up the good fight and let us know how things go.
Steve.

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