Oct 04, 2004 - 9:53 am
These are some longtime feeligs of mine that I just need to get off my chest. Ignore them, read them, respond to them, It matters not. Here goes for the first time. I was diagnosed with ALL at the age of 2 then again at 8 I am now 22. Since my remission I have been trying to figure out whats next. how to put this, so hard. It feels like my life was a B movie where the end happened in the middle but somehow just seems to continue to limp along. I also have not been able get rid of the feeling of ........ desparation in trying to find reasions to keep up the fight. Then there are the brief but viberant flashbacks of people, places, feeling, odors, and tastes. I still sometimes remember overwelming feel,smell,taste, of the radiation. The pain in my back of a spinaltap. The antiseptic smell of the hospital rooms that i grew up in. Thankyou for letting me speak its been a long time coming.