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ramona41's picture
ramona41
Posts: 72
Joined: Jul 2004

hey guys and girls havent posted much lately..but i do read occassionally. well my nice lil break while resting up from surgery is over. I see a surgeon today about getting a port put in me on friday. am scared shitless.. hate those damn needles. saw an oncologist for the first time last friday.its gonna be a longer process than i thought.. dont know why i had a lil fantasy that i would get off easy. but anyways i have received a sentence of i think 3 mos of radiation every day for 6 weeks and chemo.. some days a 3 hr treatment..some days i take a pump home and it will be hooked up for about 48 hrs.. am so not looking forward to being tired and all the other lovely symptoms.. i have a 7 yr old an 11 yr old and a 22 yr old..(hey dont ask some doctor should be paying me child support) anyways i cant imagine telling them i am too tired to help with homework or drive to soccer games or heck i dont know.. dont mean to be a whiner.. just want this stuff to be over..never had so many doctor appointments in my life.. am scared angry and just pissed...thanks for listening.. ramona

spongebob's picture
spongebob
Posts: 2600
Joined: Apr 2003

Perfectly cool to be scared, angry and pissed (not necessarily in that order, either)...

I found that regular exercise helped with the fatigue (as counter-intuitive as that may seem). try to eat reguarly and exercise regularly. Be sure to drink plenty of water. Let that 22 year old help!

We're here to listen any time! The good news is that you are moving on with your treatment and just that much closer to being done!

- SpongeBob

pjenks57's picture
pjenks57
Posts: 112
Joined: Nov 2003

I have waited a few days to write or ramble this post. My hubby was dx Sept 03 stage 4 mets to 6 nodes, liver and lung. Chemo has never stopped. CEA was 43+ prior to surgery and 1 month ago prior to 5FU/Lev/CPT11 was 6. Now after a 6 treatment program is up to 6.7. The largest tumor in the liver jumped from 1.6cm to 3.3cm while on chemo! yikes... We are both devistated. He is back on the same protocal of chemo for 6 more treatments. One of our problems is the Dr. lies and says the tests aren't back and the lungs don't show anything but when hubby got a copy of CAT and PET scan there are 3 "things" in the lung! Regardless of the lying from Dr. we need to stay put due to insurance and he is doing the same protocol as the other centers. Hubby begs me not to let him die from cancer.. I am lost, afraid, mad but hopeful. We are both Christians and know that it is all in God's hands but that doesn't make it much easier (a little maybe) but.... I have many questions about things I can't ask in front of him such as what do I need to expect if the cancer doesn't leave the liver and lungs. I know I shouldn't think about death but how do you not? Will it be quick?, will it be painful? Help I need your support but not sugar coated answers. I get enough sugercoating from Dr. Please answer me about death with cancer. I haven't given up but reality is knocking at my door.
Thank you for your well wishes and prayers. They are appreciated and I love each of you and the strength that you show me with each and every post.

fedester
Posts: 737
Joined: Jul 2004

hi ramona,
you can vent all you want and we will be here for you. i am sure your kids will be there for you at this time.it;s okay to be scared it;s normal.
just put your trust in god and your dr and all will be okay.
fedester

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Ramona,
Good to hear from you. Good luck with the port insertion....mine went really smoothly, and I'm sure the Versad happy juice colors my memories of the proceedure! I didn't have a port for my first 6 weeks of chemo, and my viens just couldn't take it. The port made it soooo much easier, more painless and quicker. Best of luck with the chemo; it really wasn't until nearly half way through that I started with significant fatigue. Give up all wishes to be superwoman, and ask your kids to help in whatever way they can. If anyone (family, friends, church group, etc.) offers to help, just say yes and thank you. When I was fatigued, a brief nap would make all the difference. I've never been one for housework, so it was easy to let that slide!
Bob's suggestion about the water is really important. I would start drinking before the chemo, and kept it up for hours afterwards. When water tasted "funny", I would add a bit of cream soda, which hit the spot.
This whole process just stinks, but you will get through it. I'm just over 2 months out from 6 months of chemo. Seems like a bad dream at times, and I am really feelling back to myself much of the time.
Hang in there, be angry, be kind to yourself and know that we are all pulling for you.
Judy

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Ramona,
Good to hear from you. Good luck with the port insertion....mine went really smoothly, and I'm sure the Versad happy juice colors my memories of the proceedure! I didn't have a port for my first 6 weeks of chemo, and my viens just couldn't take it. The port made it soooo much easier, more painless and quicker. Best of luck with the chemo; it really wasn't until nearly half way through that I started with significant fatigue. Give up all wishes to be superwoman, and ask your kids to help in whatever way they can. If anyone (family, friends, church group, etc.) offers to help, just say yes and thank you. When I was fatigued, a brief nap would make all the difference. I've never been one for housework, so it was easy to let that slide!
Bob's suggestion about the water is really important. I would start drinking before the chemo, and kept it up for hours afterwards. When water tasted "funny", I would add a bit of cream soda, which hit the spot.
This whole process just stinks, but you will get through it. I'm just over 2 months out from 6 months of chemo. Seems like a bad dream at times, and I am really feelling back to myself much of the time.
Hang in there, be angry, be kind to yourself and know that we are all pulling for you.
Judy

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

OOOPS...sorry to send the reply twice, I think my computer burped. Judy

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Aw--c'mon Judy--tell tha truth now!--twas your chemo brain playin tricks--he he!
Hey Ramona--yu got my addy now so feel free to do all tha whingin yu like--Jen said it would be nice to hear a female havin a vent once in a while--lol--think that means she is sick of hearin me crumble--lol
Now we don't want to hear of you not hydrating properly--yeah--I know--we keep tellin ya that!
Oh , and those meals you have--as the guys have said, eat regular but do so in smaller portions more often. It will make it easier on the tummy. Do let me know if anything at all worries yu. DO let your nurses know of ANY side-effects, no matter how trivial yu think they are as almost all effects can be delt with by meds.
"yu make sure yu mail me Ramona if yu got a problem, or I'm gunna walk on water n come belt ya one!"
lotsa luv n huggs--kanga n Jen

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