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trying to cope with losing Mom

swalsh
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2004

It has been a little over 1 year since I lost my Mom. She was my best friend in the world. She was diagnosed in Jan. with gall bladder cancer, only after the removal of her gall bladder due to gall stones. She passed away in Aug. The doctors said that there were no signs of cancer anywhere else and kept giving us all kinds of false hope. They also wanted to do "preventive treatment" just in case there was something they were missing. We took her to 3 different hospitals and 2 out of 3 gave us the same info. Gall bladder cancer is really rare, and there is not much known about how to treat it. So my Mom went into treatment. I watched her lose a lot of weight. I watched her become more dependent on me, my brother and Dad. I watched this once strong, independent woman become very fraile and almost childlike. I haven't really been able to talk about my Mom's passing until recently. It's felt like a nightmare to me and I would just rather not think about it. She passed away the day before her and my Dad's 30th wedding anniversary. I was only 25 when she died. I just feel really alone even though I have a wonderful family support system, my life is just different now. I don't want to talk to them because I don't want to bring them down. Is there anyone who could shed a little light on coping with such a tremendous loss? I would appreciate it.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1627
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry you lost your mom. Losing a loved one is very hard. Those year and even month days are difficult. As Americans, we seem to expect that we shouldn't still be grieving a year or more after losing someone. I have decided that grief never truly goes away. We just find ways to accept it. I think it reminds us of the wonderful people we have shared our lives with, those who have blessed us in so many ways. Our memories bring sadness, but they also bring joy. This board doesn't get as much traffic as the Grief and Bereavment one does. You might want to post there. This is a very old thread, but a good one. Take care, Fay

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