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worried for both mom and dad.

lannysnanny
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2004

My Dad has cancer and my Mom I think is in denial. I want to help both of them but I don't know what to do. I need to talk or get advice from someone who has been there. If I lose my Dad I am going to lose my Mom at the same time. Please help.

SteelMagnolia
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi. I'm new here, but have survived cancer for 20 years. I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad and denial is very common with loved ones. I know I had people in my life that refused to deal with my diagnosis and it was hard because I couldn't talk to them. You Dad is lucky that he has you. How do you feel you may lose both parents? Do you mean you think she would soon follow your Dad if he were to pass on, or that her anger would cause you to lose her? How long has it been since your Dad's diagnosis? If only a short time, maybe your Mom just hasn't had time to let it sink in. I know my Mom felt if she accepted it, then it would be the same as "killing" me. As if acknowledging the cancer would give it strength or something. It took her a while, but she came around and luckily I have been cancer free for a long time, despite a grim diagnosis. Be there as much as you can for your Dad and let your Mom feel how she feels. I know that is hard, because you need someone to talk to as well. If this has been going on for years, though, it sounds as though your Mom may need counseling (if you can get her to go) to accept this and realize that cancer CAN be beaten, but it takes a whole family to get through it and lean on each other. I hope this helps and I hope so very much that your Dad comes through this healthy and strong. Take care!

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