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telling 13 yr old and 11yr old that grandfather has another tumor

conniesue
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2004

how do i tell my children that their grandfather has another tumor and that he might not make it this time? i want to tell them the truth but last time i told them they were very upset. they lost their grandmother a little over a year ago to cancer.

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi Connie, What a sad time. My kids were just a little older when their grandpa got a terminal recurrance of his cancer. It was hard to discuss it, but as a nurse who's worked in long term care, I do think it's an opportunity for kids to deal with difficult things we all will face. I found that my kids took a lot of cues from me and their grandpa. He was very accepting that this was "his time", and was very strong emotionally. I tried to be clear with my kids that this was a sad time, but papa needed us. On our visits, they were able to help in little ways that made us all feel better.
Any other adults available to help support the kids? My cousins took extra time with them, which helped give everyone a bit of an emotional break.
Some communities have centers, often associated with hospice, that may have some helpful resources, as may the local library. It's a hard time for everyone, but dealing with illness and death is a necessary part of life.
You'll be in my prayers, Judy

AuthorUnknown
Posts: 1564
Joined: May 2006

Hi Connie
I think the best way to talk to your children is to talk to them about God first.
Blessings
Delina

sugar1
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2004

i think i'm going to change the title of my web page to **** cancer!!! Pardon my language nut i hate the disease, as i'm sure you do too. i'm 26 and my mother just passed away in april after fighting cancer for 5 years. the more stories and memories i tell the easier i can cope. just looking to share with others. thanks, ainslee

myangel
Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2004

My mom was Dignosed on Jan 6th 2004. My sons are 16,14,11 it was very hard to tell them. About Grandma I told them that she was sick and the doctors didnt know what they could do and if she got really sick she might have to go and be with God and be our gaurdian angel. My 15 year old Sister couldnt cope with my mom and other stuff that a treenager does and she committed suicide on March 24,2004 my mom died on June 10,2004 So that was really hard but I told my sons that Grandma and Auntie are our angels now. I hope some of this helps. Make sure that they get some time alone to say their goodbyes,It was hard for my 11 year old but he is glad he did he told my mom that it was ok for her to go that he would be ok and he loved her it really helped him just to sit and hold her hand at the end she couldnt talk so he talked toher it made it easier for him and he was glad he got to be alone with his grandma.

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