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Lost....what next?

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2004

I am a caregiver to my best friends mom who is like a mom to me. She had bilateral mastectomy 4 years ago and now has multiple mets to the brain.
Is now done with whole brain radiation. She is on Decadron, Armidex. They have told us it is terminal, but she doesn't want hospice, doesn't want anything but comfort care and basically doesn't want any of us to talk about it. It is a huge elephant in the room and no one can talk about it. She sleeps so much and is worried that she is missing out on life. I do not know what to expect about what comes next physically. Her doctor isn't much help. If anyone has gone through caring for someone dying with brain mets please write and it will be so appreciated.

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2004

I am so sorry that you are facing your situation. I cared for my dad who passed on from brain met. If I can be honest, it is extremely difficult to watch. I personally tried to give him as much normalcy as possible. We went through Chemo & Rad, he had several heart attacks and seizures in a six month period. I wish I could tell you what you are facing will get easier.It is difficult in the sense that you will watch a once vibrant individual regress into childlike tendencies. We did not talk about it much, we just faced each moment as it came. We spent quality time together when the better moments came. My dad did end up with hospice, and they were wonderful with him and to him. They are definitely angels. There will come a time that she will not be able to have a say, and it will be as if you are dealing with a child. I know this may not be the comfort that you were looking for, and I am sorry. But if you would like to talk more, I would be more than happy to just listen, and offer what I can. I will pray that God will give you and the family strength to get through each moment and that she will have eternal peace.

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