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Young *Single* Cancer Survivors

mc2001
Posts: 344
Joined: May 2003

Hello Fellow Young Cancer survivors / patients / caregivers...
I was just thinking about a new section for this discussion board. * Young "Single" Cancer Survivors * Has anyone else thought of that idea? I know personally there are many concerns about Single Living that harbor inside my mind and imagination, and was wondering if that happens to any of you out there in internet land? If I am alone in this, fine... I'll drop it. But if anyone else has some input, please reply. Well, take care everyone. God bless to all.
-Michael

sweet98jen
Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2011

I live near York, Pa...maybe you'd like to chat a bit and perhaps meet up some day...Like you said...no one really know what we go through! It'd be nice to have a cancer friend

Eric65
Posts: 122
Joined: May 2010

Great stories guys, I agree with everyone here and wish you all the very best. Regarding the "Singles" thing sign me up!

survEYEve's picture
survEYEve
Posts: 8
Joined: Sep 2007

Hey, Eric, I'm Eric, too. Your 'about me' was well said. We got eachothers' backs here.

Eric65
Posts: 122
Joined: May 2010

Just so you all don't feel pregnant, here's an update:
After going out for a month with a girl that new about my condition a new "mass" showed in a follow up CAT Scan and long story short, I'm gonna be saving some dough!

survEYEve's picture
survEYEve
Posts: 8
Joined: Sep 2007

Nice title, from the Beatles' White Album.

I'm gonna have to give back your words of wisdom to me: 'looks like you're better off...'

karenrn6's picture
karenrn6
Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2005

I started a facebook group called single cancer survivors

Marvusman's picture
Marvusman
Posts: 22
Joined: Sep 2010

Though cancer hasn't changed how I feel about myself physically or emotionally it has changed what I want in a woman. I would love to date another survivor because there is no stronger common bond than having both walked down that dark flaming hallway that is cancer. It's something that can't be imagined or conveyed but must be experienced. To really love someone you have to be able to respect them and even admire them. It's unfortunate and shouldn't be this way but for me I can't look up to or admire anyone who hasn't battled for their life. I want a woman I can sit back and breathe out a deep breath of admiration for. I want to look at my partner and see warrior and only a cancer survivor can truly wear that often over-used label. I am in awe with all who have survived and prospered and I would not date anyone who hasn't. I also would want someone who ahs the same fire and zest for life I do and having battled is one way to ensure that it's present.

Chemo_Princess's picture
Chemo_Princess
Posts: 105
Joined: Aug 2009

I agree 100%. I'd also rather date a survivor because nobody else appreciates every breath of air and sunrise like we do!!
Blessings,
Natalie

Eric65
Posts: 122
Joined: May 2010

I had figured that out a while ago, we gotta keep tryin'...

Marvusman's picture
Marvusman
Posts: 22
Joined: Sep 2010

Chemo Princess where are you from? I live in Philadelphia looking for nice fellow survivors to maybe hang out and have some laughs with. We know rightoff the bat we have 1 huge thing in commom LOL.

Chemo_Princess's picture
Chemo_Princess
Posts: 105
Joined: Aug 2009

I live in Louisville KY. I've yet to meet a man here my age who is a survivor. It is very frustrating!!

Marvusman's picture
Marvusman
Posts: 22
Joined: Sep 2010

It is so frustrating! I live in Philadelphia & I would love to meet survivors my age for friendship and maybe for dating but it is near impossible! Every appointment I go to, every doctors office I am sitting amongst people between the ages of 50-80. The have pediatric cancer hospitals they need to open one for young adults like 18-35.

kitandkat's picture
kitandkat
Posts: 11
Joined: Sep 2010

Definitely! I would love to date a fellow cancer survivor. Not a lot of people understand what I'm going through. Or if they do... it takes years for us to actually be able to talk about it normally. I've lost some really close friends because they can't cope with my problems, and I'm really afraid of that happening when I'm already seriously involved with someone. Almost to the point where I'd be grateful if I had a medical crisis early while we were dating so I would know if we should take the relationship any farther ;) My best friend and I clicked instantly and I couldn't figure out what it was. It turns out that in third grade, she lost her best friend to leukemia. Even though she hasn't had cancer herself she totally understands what it's like. I often think that I would just like to date the male version of my female best friend, lol.

Skrane
Posts: 19
Joined: May 2010

I agree, despite nobody ever truly knowing what "you" are going through it would make things easier

jmp123
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2010

sent me your e-mail address ok

lynnyb323's picture
lynnyb323
Posts: 11
Joined: Oct 2013

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have said. I have dated a few survivors since my diagnoses and they are the ones that not only remained friends after our breakup but they understood everything I had to endure. Survivor love is the best kind! :-) 

If you're interested. I am from PA

LadyMuse's picture
LadyMuse
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 2010

I can attest to the difficult time in finding someone. Mostly because of the fact that I've survived Cancer. I think this idea would be lovely. I've heard mention of some sites specifically geared for Cancer Survivors & dating, but I don't know what they are. Admittedly I do not know much about any of it, but I do know it's difficult.

I hope everyone finds joy and fulfillment.

LadyMuse

nicolegarza's picture
nicolegarza
Posts: 27
Joined: Mar 2011

I agree that something like that would be great... I broke up with my bf during my whole cancer ordeal because he had a lot of things on his plate and some growing up to do and I didn't need any further stress added on me! I gotta admit it was sooo hard not having a significant other there holding my hand... other then family... I check on both of the sites others mentioned on this topic and nothing turned up on either one unless I had a typo or something... but yes it would be nice to date another survivor... they know exactly how you feel!

nic

Eric65
Posts: 122
Joined: May 2010

"what a long, strange trip it's been" and still have nobody, I lived a great life but it's frealin' over nowCry. I'm giving up...

CStar89
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2013

After my nervous breakdown during my 2nd round of chemo, I felt I was losing control of everything.

I lost my unit (I only spent 1 and a half weeks there before being dx'd)

 

My parents hated my ex, and I'm slowly finding out other people who hated him too.

 

Mine dumped me after I confessed to a lie about being pregnant before we started going out.
I thought our love was stronger then that.

I knew I didn't have the energy to go to his place everynight like I used to, infact I am quite scared of driving at night or going out in the everning.

I find it very hard for me to believe this happened but now I have to move on, obviously I am scared of responsibility but I miss him.

 

Has anyone elses engagement broken down life this during / after cancer?

Please tell me how you moved on and was finally able to let it go, I couldn't look after myself - he thought I was being stupid.

I couldn't make decisions for myself and still have trouble doing that.

 

He compared my operation to his father's Gall bladder removal around the same time my tumour was removed.
His friends turned against me so fast, they called me petty and immature, so I blocked them off facebook.

It's hard to live everyday now, I'm scared of travelling, has anyone else had this?

I'm scared of responsibility and get jealous of friends who are pregnant, having baby showers, weddings or getting engaged.

Has anyone else had this?

 

Thank you xo

halfwaythere
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2013

I was much more optimistic the first time around in 2010, but my most recent diagnosis and surgery has left me feeling pretty discouraged.

Parts of my jaw, neck, skull, trapezius and cheek were removed along with my right facial nerve. The right side of my head, neck and face are noticeably altered. Suffice it to say that I am not a ''10". 

I still have hope, but I am 31 and having a family seems like less and less of a possibility. It has to get better at some point, right? 

closschumacher's picture
closschumacher
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2013

I think this would be a great idea.

I am a PXA Brain Tumor Survivor (4 years next month), just earned my master's degree in education, and i have had a hard time post surgery establishing any kind of romantic relationships. I was 18 when i was diagnosed, 22 now.

After reading all of your comments, it's good to know that I'm not alone here, and that people have the same belief that it actually MAY be easier to date another survivor to have those heart to heart conversations with and know that they ACTUALLY get it. I have been really discouraged lately and on the borderline of giving up all togetther because there arent that many brain tumor survivors (that im aware of at least) that are 18-25 that also have relationship establishment issues.

You guys are more than welcome to hit me up on facebook (Cory R Los Schumacher)- just let me know you're from here, and if you need anything please reach out. I live in southern new jeresey if you need anyone to talk to/hang out with/ whatever.

Sincerely,

Cory

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