Jun 11, 2004 - 9:27 am
Hello all, was hoping for some feedback on beloved's current situation. Not sure how to support him.
Okay the rundown:
Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma: small football shaped tumor in lymph duct, inoperable, due to upper GI region. From mid December to mid April, had series of chemo, radiation: CHOPS and Ritux.
Left with tumor/scar tissue in 3 smaller pieces. To return in 2 months for CAT scan to monitor for any change. Was told to report any constipation immmediately. (none so far)
But I am very confused about the following symptoms as reported to me by Beloved:
1) Continues to experience nausea, vomitting blurred vision, dizzyness, fatigue and pain in tumor region daily w/ varying intensity.
Medications only partially effective at best. Uses small amount of an herbal supplement in PM about every 2 hours.
2) Still believes he would be "worthless" at work due to symptoms and complexity of job responsibilities. Can do short trips to the store, very limited tasks about the house. Has been on 2 single day fishing trips, alone with boat. Has been w/friends on 2 day fishing trip and me on an overnight to beach with motel accomodations and limited exertion.
3) Increased need to urinate and empty bowels, often preceded and accompanied by nausea. B.M. often sudden and accompanied by vomitting. No constipation, but constant dread of vomitting. B.M.s not forced but can take up to 30 minutes to subside. Stools pasty, normal to loose. No GI cramping until vomitting.
4) Appetite greatly decreased, or ??? Can graze the equivalent of 2 small meals (not nutrition based) a day but will lose partial due to daily vomitting. Only certain and widely varying foods "sound safe" at different times in small amounts.
5) Pain accompanies nausea. "Gurgling pain in tumor area" Same feeling he experienced during the actual radiation treatments.
6) Activity level still low. Reports fatigue, no sex interest. Has to "roll" out of bed as "sitting up" results in nausea. Generally, positioning in bed, recliner, chairs can result in nausea. Decreased duration of driving, reading, watching TV, Playing computer games.
7) Reports decreased cognitive, memory, penmanship and "brain to hand" writing skills. Clumsy. Has difficulty remembering meds and individually judges which to take when according to how he thinks he will feel.
8)Acute tactile sensitivity resulting in nausea from hot/cold temperatures, waist bands of shorts, underwear, being touched in abdominal region.
9) Is taking wellbutrin for pre-cancer diagnosed chronic depression at about 7pm at night. Seems ineffective to me, and he is defensive about discussing it. Refuses to discuss with Dr.
*which brings me to*
10) Unpleasant symptoms for me to report: depressed paranoid and argumentative. Example would be: He thinks half a piece of toast and full roast coffee is enough breakfast to take his meds on and doesn't connect the AM vomitting. Doesn't report negative impacts on food and nutrition to Dr.
Doesn't report much to Dr. and doesn't ask many questions. Suddenly angry if I ask any ? about food. Tries to pick fights out of thin air. Will only discuss the weather and keeps polite distance overall.
11) No exersize, not even stretching. Stays up late watching TV or whatever and then denies it. Reports trouble sleeping, then changes his mind. Reports feeling better then changes his mind.
12) Still waiting for the other shoe to drop and trying to predict it precisely. Doesn't acknowledge connection between lifestyle, self-care and recuperation time/success. Still hoping for a magic pill, or iron will.
I'm exhausted from writing this. Thank you so much for reading it all. Can you help? Should I report this stuff to his Dr. and father behind his back? Should I run away?
We do not live together, offered to move in to help while he was in treatment but he wanted to "wait til he was over this." Found a cleaning person to keep his house up while immune system was threatened. Called all his friends and ran his errands.
Stopped cooking for him months ago, because he didn't eat it. Limited my visits to once daily or less, and short if he was in foul mood. Oh me. Better stop this. Have been taking care of myself.
Just don't know why these symptoms are continueing and why He doesn't refuse to accept them.
Please, any words, advice. Thanks for reading.