Jun 07, 2004 - 10:04 am
Hello everyone. I'm Bear. I'm writing because I feel alone and helpless at times. My lovely wife has spent the last year battling cancer and is the strongest and bravest person I've ever met. She is my hero. Since her diagnosis, I've never felt to helpless. I would sever a limb for her and I often wish there was more I could do other than house chores and keeping up with the bills.
I feel overwhelmed everyday by emotions of fear and helplessness as I watch her suffer in pain. I often wish I could trade places with her so she wouldn't have to suffer through the effects of the chemo treatments. I know that I couldn't handle the pain better, I just don't want HER to be the one going through it.
I cry a lot. I don't know if it's self-pity or just plain, flat out depression. She's so close to being done with her treatments and the oncologist says that she definately has been given a second shot at life. We are overjoyed by this! But I still have my bouts of crying and still feel like I can't do enough for her. Is this normal? In light of such good news of her recovery I still rattle with fear.