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Mom passed 3 years ago

rg241224
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2004

My mom passed away 3 years ago, May 17, after fighting colon cancer for just shy of 2 years. I'm not sure I ever really went through the grieving process. I'm having a more difficult time dealing now than I did then. I miss her sooooo much. I cry at everything lately. And I've been very short tempered with my children the last few days. I was only 34 when my mom passed and I have no friends who have lost a parent to cancer with whom I can talk. I could talk, but they wouldn't really understand. Does it ever get easier. Even thinking about good times brings emptiness and pain because she's not here to share any more times with. It's so hard. I've really struggled with trying to be strong for my son who was 11 at the time and very close to my mom but also showing him that I miss her too. I think the only time I cried in front of him was at the funeral. And I was 2 1/2 months pregnant when my mom passed. I'm a stay at home mom but that is so bittersweet because there are so many times every day that I want to call my mom and tell her what my daughter did today and I can't. And I love my dad so much, but his reaction just isn't the same as my mom's would have been. I'm having an especially hard time this month and I don't know why. This is the hardest it's been yet except for the night she died, the day of the funeral and during the time that I wrote all of the thank you notes from our family. How do I make it easier to deal with?

retiretofish
Posts: 5
Joined: Feb 2004

I lost my first wife to hodgkins in 1986 (she was 34 years old) and four years later my oldest child was killed in a motorcycle accident (he was 21). Two years ago, I was dx. with colorectal cancer, stage 2. I have two books which helped me through my grieving process. The first is a book by Elizabeth Kuber-Ross (sp) 'On Death and Dying' which will talk about the stages of grieving.

The second is a book by Lance Armstrong 'It is not about the bike'. This book helped me understand that as a cancer survivor that I should realize that I was one of the lucky ones in that I get a second chance at life.

I hope this helps. Also, you can use the chat rooms here to discuss your feelings. You will find a lot of love, understanding and caring folks in this chat room

Van (aka retiretofish)

meganucci's picture
meganucci
Posts: 11
Joined: Feb 2004

My mom passed away from esophageal cancer this May 16. I feel the same way you described. I don't feel like I'm going through the grieving process. I miss my mom, but I don't think it has fully sunk in yet. I would like to talk more with you. You can e-mail me through the csn web site. Maybe we could help each other. I was pregnant with my son when my mother was diagnosed. Her doctor only gave her 6 months to a year to live, but she lived until he was 14 months old.. exactly. She died the day he turned 14 months. Anyway, I would like to talk to you about your mom,and how you're dealing. Was she under hospice care? E-mail me so we can talk.

Meganucci

shallisey
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2004

My mother just passed away on Wednesday at the age of 57. I feel so numb. If I don't think about her for 15 minutes, I feel like I am losing her all over again. She had adenocarcinoma of unknown origin. She didn't even get the chance to really fight with chemotherapy. She was diagnosed at the end of January and died in 4 months. I don't know how to go on or what to do. I'm 33, I know I should have a better handle on this, but I just don't. I just wanted to write out some of my feelings where people would understand. Thanks, Sara.

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