May 12, 2004 - 12:17 am
It's been a long, long process--my mom was first diagnosed almost 15 years ago with breast cancer, had a double mastectomy and was told that everything was gone. Then 10 years later they discovered that it had returned and metastitized. At that time they gave her a prognosis of 6 months, but here she is 2 and a half years later. She is on the verge of choosing hospice, though she may continue to try chemo for a while. My question is, I am struggling so much at this point in terms of how to "say goodbye"--people often say to me, you must have so many things you want to ask her, or you must have so many things left that you want to tell her about. But I kind of feel like she is not really my mom anymore, and she doesn't seem much in the mood to be telling stories and reminiscing. I feel like there's something wrong with me because I don't feel compelled to rush in with questions and answers, etc. Has anyone had this experience? Has anyone found fruitful and beneficial ways of opening up these topics? What were the person's responses? (It feels kind of weird now, but maybe it'll make more sense when it really becomes clear that she only has a very short time...maybe it'll seem more desperate) I'm just so afraid of having regrets later.