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how am i suposed to feel

sarapatricia
Posts: 8
Joined: May 2003

hi, i am 24 yrs old diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 2 at 21, had my las chemo february last year, and it was so hard since the chemicals where so agresive, now i´m ok taking lucrin depot as an endometriosis treatment, i don´t have a partner and i am so afraid that the minute i bring out my cancer problems guys will jus say good bye, i am back to university now a diferent one, and feel sometimes like i do not fit in, when i see babies in tv sometimes i cry because maybe i will not be able to have one but still i think in adption and most important keep thanking god i am alive after so many surgeries, is some of you can give me some advice it will be great

rob6
Posts: 17
Joined: May 2003

hi sara,
I talk to a young lady here that is 22 and gets stressed about the support she has a hard time finding because is younger then most of us in the chat room. I try to help her as much as i can but i am 45. I think you and her would be good support for each other. her email at this site is OnSwingBridgeTSI. just go to the chat page and click on send or read email.

hugs to you Robin

RebeccaD
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2004

Hi Sara! I did not have ovarian cancer but instead had Hodgkins Disease (lymphatic cancer) when I was 21. I too felt lonely after treatment and wondered if I was ever going to find someone. During treatment I knew there was a risk that my eggs would be destroyed and that I would not have kids. There was the option to have eggs frozen but this procedure was painful and expensive. So I opted to take my chances.
When I was your age I thought I wanted kids someday too. Now I have a genetic disorder called NF2 which causes benign brain tumors to grow on my auditory nerves and lining of the brain. I found out that I have a 50% chance of passing it on and that a pregnancy would cause the tumors to grow. So my husband and I have decided not to have children.
By the way....there are guys out there who will love you for who you are no matter what. You WILL find one. I met my husband when I was 24 and now I am 32. He knew about the cancer I had and married me after I was diagnosed with NF2 (at age 27)....even knowing that children would most likely not be possible when I had not come to terms with that yet. He has been a wonderful source of support! I could not ask for more. When I was near the point of accepting that we would have no kids, he brought home two of the cutest puppies for my 30th birthday (Katie and Jake...brother and sister). They bring us so much joy everyday and are SO MUCH easier to care for than children (not to mention less expensive). We thought of adopting but a) it is very costly and has to REALLY be something you want to do and b) we live a lifestyle that really would not accommodate a child anyhow. We love to keep active...scuba dive, hike, ride motorcyles, travel, etc. We are really happy with everything we have as it is. We just got back a month ago from visiting Italy and London. We have also been to Alaska, California, Yellowstone, the Badlands, Devil's Towers, Mt. Rushmore, Montana, Idaho, Oregon, the Canadian Rockies, Whistler and Blackhomb, Vancouver Island, (we live in Washington so have been all around here), the Channel Islands, Belize, Guatemala, Honduras, and Mexico. We have many more places on our list....The Red Sea, South Africa, and Austrailia are the big ones that we will be preparing for. The thing is that you never know what can happen. So we choose to enjoy these things now while we can. So many people wait until retirement but then one passes away or their health fails and prevents them from doing the things they planned on.

I hope this helps. It is normal to go through periodic bouts of depression after treatment. I think it took me a good year and a half to feel normal again. It was a weird experience.

Keep you chin up and take time to smell the roses!
- Beck :o)

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