Do you ever stop thinking about it

minnie112256
minnie112256 Member Posts: 49
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I want to know if you ever stop thinking and reliving your experience with breast cancer. I was diagnosed in sept of 2002. I had 5 surgeries including a mastestomy. I have been done all my treatments for a year and I still relive what I went through and get upset over it all of the time. I question why it happen and if I will ever feel normal again and not worry about it coming back. I have to go for a mamogram next week and I am so afraid of the results. I also have to have a colonosopy and I as worried about that. It seems like it never ends. I am on four different medicines. I just want to be normal again!!!

Comments

  • sassysally
    sassysally Member Posts: 150
    Minnie, there will come a day when you dont think about it as much, although its always in the back of your mind and in every ache and pain,. I had bc in 1991, 1997 and 2000. dont let it run your life. Live your life. Having tests and check ups is always nerve wracking....this too will pass with time. Normal is out the window in some ways, but its all in how you look at it and your attitude. If you want to feel sorry, and let cancer be your roomate, then it will be. The results of tests are going to be what they will be, you cant change them. The only thing you can change is your attitude and the way you deal with things. I know how you feel. I have decided to live for me, not for cancer... I hope you do the same.
  • sevey
    sevey Member Posts: 184

    Minnie, there will come a day when you dont think about it as much, although its always in the back of your mind and in every ache and pain,. I had bc in 1991, 1997 and 2000. dont let it run your life. Live your life. Having tests and check ups is always nerve wracking....this too will pass with time. Normal is out the window in some ways, but its all in how you look at it and your attitude. If you want to feel sorry, and let cancer be your roomate, then it will be. The results of tests are going to be what they will be, you cant change them. The only thing you can change is your attitude and the way you deal with things. I know how you feel. I have decided to live for me, not for cancer... I hope you do the same.

    Minnie,
    It is easy to allow yourself to dwell on the fact that cancer has altered a part of your life. Yet like Sally said you can let it rule your life by letting it becaome your roomate. I was totally freaked out when first diagnosed with uterine & then it became turned up a notch by entering my ovaries. Many surgeries & treatmants later & I hadn't any other choice, but to live with it. I chose to enjoy the periods of remission & found that as bad as my experience with this illness, there were & are others in a lot worse shape. I also came to the conclusion that a lot of my recovery is my belief in the Lord & my sense of humour. In otherwords I will not let it put me in a place where I can only worry or freak over every ache & pain. I like many choose to use my experience with cancer to help others {when I can} & maintain a sense of humour. Allow yourself to enjoy the day you have, because it is the only one you are actually promised according to the Lord. Yesterday is gone & tomorrow is not here. I do not mean to sound so flippant or cold about your question so please don't misunderstand me. I agree that it is a very frightening thing to happen to any of us & we have probably all felt that way in the beginning. That is why we have sites like these to help each other & always remember that we are Survivors.... You may find yourself in a situation here when you can share your experience to help someone else. I agree that it is hard to shake off the fear & that it may never completely go away, but it gets easier to deal with each day. I have tests all the time & since the last surgery in January I have even more along with physical therapy 3 times a week. I am getting a lot better, but for all the times I have been ill with cancer, I have seen ladies & gentlemen in a lot worst shape then me. This always makes me realize that I am not alone & I learned many years ago that I should use myself to help others. You would not believe how many have the same attributes>{belief in God & sense of humour}. I have found many friends in this site & at the hospital that are as crazy as I am>>>>LOL<<<<< I find myself worrying more about others then myself anymore. I will pray for the Lord to comfort you & assure you that it will get better. I agree with Sally as far as living for myself & not cancer. I even have some pretty funny stories about being in the hospital that at the time mortified me, but now when I look back I just crack up at the situation. Just go easy on yourself & don't borrow extra things to worry about such as tests or results before you get them. I am 46 & a lot of aches & pains are from my age. I don't want anyone who is older to take offense at what I just said about being 46 & it having a lot to do with aches. Besides cancer I have rhuematoid arthritus & a few other little genetic disorders that run in my family. Meanwhile you are in a good place to find many great people that care & are what friends are made of.
    God Bless You
    Love Cathy
  • Glow
    Glow Member Posts: 41
    Minnie, the truth is that your life has changed forever because NO you NEVER stop thinking about it or being scared that it will come back. HOWEVER, as time passes it really does get easier. You get into a routine of checkups, mammograms, oncology visits, tumor markers etc. As horrible as that sounds it really does become easier. But no...you will never be the same.
  • zietta
    zietta Member Posts: 4
    Minnie - I am 56 nearly 57 and my mother died in 1976 when I was still a young woman from breast cancer. I developed the disease in 1994 had the lump removed, it was big and had chemo and radiation. Developed colon cancer in 2000, maybe from the chemo? I am currently being treated with tomoxifen as a homone blocker. Mostly I live day to day, trying to keep in the moment, feeling pretty good, but wondering much about life and cancer and what are my options and will I ever be "well"??
    Been having acupunture for my ears, they seem to be bugging me. My oncologist says my markers are rising and that markers are not always an indicator of a lot of cancer. I don't want to be an ostrich, but I like to live in the happy. Still cancer is real in my life.
    But hey, does any of us get out of here alive???
    Love and thoughts from still surviving after all this time.
  • livin
    livin Member Posts: 318 Member
    zietta said:

    Minnie - I am 56 nearly 57 and my mother died in 1976 when I was still a young woman from breast cancer. I developed the disease in 1994 had the lump removed, it was big and had chemo and radiation. Developed colon cancer in 2000, maybe from the chemo? I am currently being treated with tomoxifen as a homone blocker. Mostly I live day to day, trying to keep in the moment, feeling pretty good, but wondering much about life and cancer and what are my options and will I ever be "well"??
    Been having acupunture for my ears, they seem to be bugging me. My oncologist says my markers are rising and that markers are not always an indicator of a lot of cancer. I don't want to be an ostrich, but I like to live in the happy. Still cancer is real in my life.
    But hey, does any of us get out of here alive???
    Love and thoughts from still surviving after all this time.

    Hi Minnie, Iam 49 years old dx with breasr cancer 1999 had a lumpectomy started on tamoxifen no chemo or radiation, it was a small cancer. I tell you I all most lost my mine thinking I was going to die. I couldn't eat sleep or think straight. Boom-2001 Colon Cancer stage 3. Thats when I made up my mine that I was going to enjoy life and live everyday like it was my last. With time things do get better and you do not stop thinking about it but you will begin to not think about it as much. I try to enjoy each and everday no matter what. I have no more bad days.
  • Leenie
    Leenie Member Posts: 33
    Minnie, I am a 1yr survivor and still get upset about what I went through. I guess the best thing I can say is you are a survivor!!!!!and that is what you need to dwell on not the rest of the stuff. Live life to the fullest.. LOVE,LAUGH,LIVE. AND REMEMBER ONLY HAPPY THOUGHTS...Leenie
  • minnie112256
    minnie112256 Member Posts: 49
    Thank you all for your responses. They are really helpful. You are right we are survivors. I am going to try to live one day and a time and just enjoy being a "SURVIVOR". Thanks for all of your kind words!!
    Ida
  • besci
    besci Member Posts: 9
    That's where faith comes in. All of us want to be normal again, but we can't be like we used to be, before cancer. It changes you for life, but there are better things to do than let it control you and your thoughts. 15 years ago I was given a year to live. Did I stew and fret? At times, yes, but then, I had to rise up and go, keep going. The experience itself fades in time, but the scars remind me...they also give me hope and strength because I BEAT IT!