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Long road

jpd
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2004

Its been a long road. My wife just turn 40, she was diagnosed jan 2000 with breast ca. She has since had chemo, surgery, chemo radition, brain met removed, radition to the head, mets in the lungs and liver, more chemo to control them, more mets to the brain and now today mets to the bones.
My question is how do I keep her positive or at least not so depressed, we have a 10 year old boy and 8 year old girl and they are starting to have problems emotionally, I seem to be ok for now. I hate to say it but this doesn't look so good now. I hate to sound sorry for ourselfs but I'm out of ideas.
Thanks for any advice

Galliano
Posts: 46
Joined: Mar 2004

Dear jpd
I wish I had some answers for you and your wife, and I'll keep you all in my prayers. I don't know much about breast cancer personally, but I know plenty of people at these pages do. I hope you will also post under 'breast cancer' both here at CSN and also at the ACS Home pages listed at top of this page. I have read so many encouraging stories from these people that it has helped me so much and also my husband who is dealing with colon cancer now met to the liver. These wonderful people here will make all of you feel as tho you are not going thru this alone, and may share some ideas as to how to help your kids thru this. Don't give up here by looking at just this one 'discussion' area. I have learned that the more I explore these pages, the more positive information I find. Best of luck and health to all of you!!!!!!!!!
Pam

kstehman
Posts: 3
Joined: Apr 2004

I understand how you feel, but as much as I'm sure you would like to, you have no control over how your wife feels, only how you feel and how you react. If you are doing your best that's it. This is all we can do. My husband is 36 and has been fighting colorectal cancer since 2001. We have a twelve year old and a 9 year old. I think the best thing for our kids was that we told them why dad and mom cry, often sometimes, that cancer may kill him eventually or it might not. Kids are smart. They all ready know more than they will say.The kids are going to act out some because they don't know how else to handle it. They learn from us.I have always felt honesty is the best policy and I would make the worst actor.I do try to get my kids away from my husband when he is really having a bad time, so that they don't feel the stress as much. I think that helps my husband too cause he gets a few hours to be sick or mad at the world and mope and then get over it (or pretend to) before we come back. On the good days we try to make the most of being a family, which sometimes means just watching a movie, having a meal together, or fighting to get the kids to do homework and chores. Having a extensive family and friends close by helps too. All to often they want to do something to help but don't know what to do. Also go to this site, they send young adult cancer patients on a respite www.crossingthefinishline.org

cbecker
Posts: 89
Joined: Sep 2002

I will keep you in my prayers. I just lost my husband with metastazied throat cancer that went to bone and lungs. We fought this horrible disease for over two years but God took him. I will pray for you and your wife. It is very hard to get them out of depression since they are fighting for their lives. They keep fighting and fighting and then it gets worse. Just keep holding her and talking to her and telling her you love her. If I can help let me know. I just lost my love March 19th of this year. God Bless, candy

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