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a new life

kellydinniss
Posts: 16
Joined: Mar 2004

I am a relatively new member to the site and am finding it enormously helpful in dealing with my husband having been diagnosed with stage2/3 rectal cancer in the last month aged just 31. The last month has been an amazing journey with emotions ranging from sheer panic to some kind of acceptance followed by intense sadness that this has had to happen to us and the loss of our former life as we knew it. Some days I feel absolutely despairing and others I can be positive-I know that above all what he needs is for me to be postive whilst he goes through pre op radio and chemo therapy(just started yesterday) but sometimes it is so hard. It is especially difficult as we are expecting our first baby in 6 weeks-I feel that we have been robbed of what should have been such a joyful time and at present i just feel fearful of the baby arriving into such an environment with such an uncertain future.It is so good to hear from others who experience the same emotions and would be very grateful for any tips/pearls of wisdom you may have to help me and my wonderful husband through this.

bunnie's picture
bunnie
Posts: 233
Joined: Mar 2003

Hi all i can say is just stay strong and positive for him.My husband is my caregiver and his support and love has helped me a lot.I breast cancner and a mastecomy in Jan of 03 and then in Jan 04 cancer has came back in the lung and rib cage with out my husbands support i dont think i could be going thorugh this again.Iam sure you are there for him and he knows you love him Just keep your chins up and stay positve you are going to beat this thing.Bunnie best of luck too you guys and your new babby.

bsrules
Posts: 296
Joined: Mar 2004

Hello There!! Welcome!! I am somewhat new also. I know exactly what you are feeling. I know that you are feeling overwhelmed but you must ake special care of yourself!!! Your husband seeing the new baby and holding him or her will be the best meds. that anyone could give him!!! I take one day at a time. My husband was diagnosed is Sept. 2003. He has been through alot and he is fighting with everything he has. I am trying to get over the fear phase. I am taking one day at a time. With the help of these GREAT people we will do the right thing for our husbands. Positive thinking and smiles and laughter are all the best meds we can give!!! Best Wishes to all of you!! Sue

Galliano
Posts: 46
Joined: Mar 2004

Dear kelly
I know the range of emotions you speak of, and I feel for you. This should be a time of joy for you, not fear and sadness. I came to this site a little over a week ago, and it has really helped me a lot. I have a great family support system, but it's still just not the same sharing my feelings and fears with them. Here I can express that part of myself that I don't share with anyone else. And for that I am really grateful, to you and the rest of you who read and post. I've become more optimistic about my husband's condition, just by listening to experiences other's have had, and even some of their advice has been very helpful. This is a great place to be. I wish all of you the best of health and luck, and I'll look forward to reading a future post about the arrival of your wonderful baby. Take things one day at a time, and try to enjoy each and every one of them as much as you can. Thank you for sharing!
Pam

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