Mar 31, 2004 - 12:58 pm
Hi everyone. Hi Jennifer islet (we met at another posting...) I am so glad to finally have a young cancer survivor group. I am 35, and I was 32 was I was diagnosed, and I always felt that support was geared towards older people (50s and up), the majority of whom have cancer.
I was diagnosed in August 2002 with a neuroendocrine tumor in the rectum. I had four months of chemo, surgery (including a colostomy), and radiation. About 6 months later, blood tests indicated a rise in my CEA level, and scans confirmed very large tumors in the liver.
I began chemo again in Sept. 2003, and after seven treatments, we have seen a significant decrease in CEA as well as tumor mass and volume. I just recently had an eighth treatment.
However, just yesterday, I received news that my CEA has gone up. That could mean nothing, or it could mean the tumors are growing again. I have to go back in a few weeks for another blood test and most likely scans.
I'm at a point where I just don't know how to handle the unknown anymore. I'm so afraid and frightened, and I have a wonderful boyfriend (we've been together 10 years), who has been my absolute rock throughout all this. But no matter what he says, or what any of my friends or family say, I still can't help fearing the worst. And waiting for the other shoe to drop. I would appreciate any advice and encouraging words. I think so often, how can one single person handle so much. I also have a father who has lung cancer with mets to the brain. He is not doing very well (is confused a lot), and circulation problems in his leg may have caused gangrene and he may be looking at amputation. So I worry about him, not to mention my poor mother, who has to take care of him, when she herself has had significant health problems recently and is in a wheelchair most of the time.
Sorry for going on and on! Thanks for listening.
I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.