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I need help

decko2
Posts: 10
Joined: Mar 2004

My partner is dieing of Liver disease and now my father may have cancer. My father started having breathing problems in January 2004; a few weeks ago he went to the doctor who thought he had Pneumonia and given steroids. The internal med doctor sent him to a pulmonologist who sent him for a CT scan. They found swollen lymph nodes and something in/on his liver. They did a biopsy. Now they are thinking cancer metastasized in his liver and TB. I am scared and do not know what to do. I can not lose my only living parent and my partner of over 10 years at the same time. I am not strong enough. I put on a strong face for them, but it hurts so much and if I lose them I will be without anyone to talk to about this. I lost my mother 8 years ago suddenly of a heart attack and my grandmother over 2 years ago to a car accident. Sorry I am going on and on, but I don't know where else to turn. Thank you for listening.

BionicKitty's picture
BionicKitty
Posts: 15
Joined: Mar 2004

I know it's so hard to imagine so much loss,but there are people out there who can help you, even if it's just to listen and feel for you. This is a great place to be in times of loneliness,and when you read other's problems, it does put things in perspective. We are all going through heartache, and it is comfoting to be able to write your feelings.
You will find the strength to live through this. Enjoy each moment you do have with them,and make sure you take care of your own health as well, so you have the energy to help them and be strong for them. Maybe try and find a few people in your neiborhood that have similar stories to share,maybe they would help you. I have discovered that many of my casual friends have been through it, or know someone else who has been through it, and have passed on great info in therapies, natural body work and doctors. They have offered to drive my mom to the hospital when I can't, and even to have a fundraiser to help her. You see, if you can open up to people , you will be amazed at how much people really care.
This is a great start, and you are not alone.
BK

bsrules
Posts: 296
Joined: Mar 2004

Hello!!!! I know exactly how you feel!!! My husband was diagnosised with colonrectal cancer which spread to 60% of his liver. It was like a bomb dropping on us!!! The doctor told us over the phone as this way we were home and not worry about us getting home. We just looked at each other is disbelief. I never thought I would beable to get to the next step as a caregiver. I was going to be doing this solo. I managed to get through each step one day at a time!!! I can only say take care of things as they come up and try not to worry about things that have not happened. I know this sound almost impossible but that is how I am getting through this one day at a time!! I try to laugh with my husband as much as possible. He has had a very long beard for about 36 years. With the chemo he is loosing it. It is getting shorter. I tell him that we all will finally beable to see what he really looks like after all these years. He laughs as to say no one will know who he is I tell him all he has to do is open his mouth. I know that this seems silly but it has worked. We take one day at a time and deal with things as they come up. I try to learn as much as I can even if I can't remember all the long terms but this way I can try to get ready for the next step without my husband worrying about it I do it for him. I am sending you you family all the prayers and best wishes. I am new to this site also and it has helped me alot just by reading everyone replies.

Best Wishes and keep laughter as much a possible!

Sue

SeattleKati
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2004

Decko - I think you have come to the right place. There are so many people willing to listen. Be sure to ask questions - clarify things you don't understand and make requests for help you need when you need it. People will be there for you - When I got sick, I was amazed at the people that asked what they could do. Be sure to take care of yourself - eat well and try to get rest/sleep. It's not always easy, but be sure to try.

Thinking of you and your loved ones,
Kathy

luther
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2004

I know the feeling. I had merkel cell. It's very rare and not many doctors can treat it. I remember many times my dr. told me to take my pain med. and enjoy the days I had left. Well, on Oct. 8th I will celebrate my 8th year in remition. My granddaughter, Meg, is my communication source to this site. If you ever want to just talk her e-mail is prissygurl10@aol.com. Please e-mail anytime.

decko2
Posts: 10
Joined: Mar 2004

Well I wanted to take the time to let everyone know my father lost his battle Wed. April 7th, 2004 at 12:30pm CST. Thank you so much for all your help. I now have a larger fight on my hands. I have to deal with my money hunger stepmother. Wish me luck.

Cheri

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