Mar 27, 2004 - 5:40 pm
I must say that the hardest part of going through watching a parent get sicker is the confusion. What confuses me the most is the same thing that gives me hope. It is the fight that they give. One day you could swear it will only be another day or two and the next s/he is fighting to the end, sitting in the hospital bed as though it were any old place hanging out having a good time. My mother seems to bounce back and forth sososo much and that is by far the hardest part. It is going through the emotions and fear that she will die soon and then she bounces back and seems to be ok, not great, but certainly not dying this wk. My mother is my best friend and she has always been a fighter, it is just hard to fight with metastisized lung cancer (bone and brain) while a tumor has paralyzed her right leg. But, her fighting strength is by far what keeps me going. I see her slip daily, but she also gets stronger and more beautiful to me. I guess, who isn't confused when they face the death of a parent, friend or loved one? It is just hard when there are sososo many ups and downs. Damn this cancer!