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missing my daughter

stephsmom
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2004

it took me almost an hour to figure out how to do this. i lost my 26 year old daughter in jan. to unknown primary but the brain cancer was the killer. she was diagnosed as probably terminal over a year ago and came back home with her baby last spring so we could take care of her. her fiance has also been staying with us . she started having seizures a couple of days before christmas and was pretty much bedridden until she died. she was in my bed the whole time, my husband moved to the couch so i could be close if she needed me. now that its over i cant sleep, i cant bring myself to talk to anyone. this is the closest ive come. anyone out there going or gone through anything like this?

Atomicat
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

I think I know how you feel. It was very hard to write my story, too. There is so much more going on inside your heart than you could ever write down; it's overwhelming. You have her child to raise, and her legacy lives on in that child. It is difficult to care for a loved one, with a light heart, when you know what the ultimate outcome will be. I know that the closeness you shared with your daughter during her illness, created a bond that transends death and that she will always be with you and your family, in your hearts and minds. God Bless You and your Family.

Steff
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2004

My daughter-in-law died last May leaving my son to raise their then 5 year old daughter and 9 month old son. She was the best wife and mother I have ever known, my son is doing a wonderful job with the kids, we all help whenever needed, but we all still miss her so much and I do not know if it will ever get better. Her mother tells me that alot of days she just sits and cries, and her mother is usually a very upbeat person. If there is any joy left it is in the children, although that is tempered by the fact that they are growing up without a mother. My grandson who is now 19 months old will, like your grandchild, have no memory of his mother and that is hard to handle. Please email me if you need to talk, it is so hard to talk to those you know, easier to talk to a stranger sometimes. It will get manageable but I think the pain will always be there. stephjim@qconline.com

BionicKitty's picture
BionicKitty
Posts: 15
Joined: Mar 2004

My mom watched her first born daughter die of cancer over ten years ago. Now my mom is facing the same thing.She has a brain tumor.Her biggest fear is putting her other children through the pain she felt when my sister passed away. She is trying to be the strong one, yet I know I will be the one holding her in the end. She is older however, and she is ready if that is the way it goes, but there is nothing like losing your child. I feel for you, and I understand a little because my sister left 2 little boys behind.
Try not to isolate yourself. Arm yourself with knowlege and compassionate friends. This forum is a great place to start.
I am only just starting to help my mom. She is hardly ill at all, and I hope that they have misdiagnosed her , but I know I could be losing her soon as well, and I am very sad. I try to make her laugh at least 3 times a day though...
Be good to yourself, BK

luther
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2004

I was looking for messages for my grandfather when I came across your message. I am 14. I just wanted to let you know that no matter how many time we kids say we hate you or anything else like that, we don't mean it. It sounds like you and your daughter were close, and coming from someone my age it is very... meaningful t have a relationship that good with your mom. I don't know if this helped you any but I think that your daughter loved you very much.

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