Special bra's?

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forevernyr
forevernyr Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had breast cancer ten years ago. I lost half a breast and a large portion of my underarm. I had chemo and radiation. I was left with residual pain in my arm, breast and rib cage. Having younger children at the time I refused the pain meds because I was afraid of something happening and me not being able to be in control. It has been with me every waking moment for ten years.

It finally got too much three months ago and I went on pain medication and an anti depressant. I take it before I go to bed. So, I at least have those hours free of the pain.

If my husband touches it, if someone hugs me, and sometimes if you just look at it it screams. I found an incredible doctor and she has been a great help.

Here is my problem. I can't wear a normal sized bra without feeling like I'm going into cardiac arrest. So, I go without one in my home. When we go shopping I wear one that is two sizes too big. People can tell that I am wearing a bra and no has ever laughed or pointed.

My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law have decided that I need to start wearing a wired bra that lifts and seperates. They held an intervention and even offered me some of their old bra's. These are the same people who told me when I was diagnosed, that cancer was a walk in the park. They even made a special trip to see me bald and laugh at me.

I told the witches that I can't wear them because of the pain involved. They said they are sick of seeing me sagging. I'm 51 and I'm going to sag, period. They're the only ones who seem to care about my bra's being two sizes to big. My breasts just don't lift and seperate and I feel no pain when I wear them.

We went out to a family dinner and they were embarressed that I was wearing my bra. Are there bra's for us who can't take any kind of pressure on their breast surgical site. I have tried every bra imaginary. I am just wondering if there a bra for people like me? Just wondering. I am quite happy wearing a bra two sizes too big. I would love to lift and seperate but those days are long gone for me. I'm just wondering. Thanks
Jackie

Comments

  • lindatn
    lindatn Member Posts: 229
    #2
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    Good Heavens I would go without a bra period when I visited those relatives[out-laws] At the age of 60 I sag, since the lumpectomy I find I can wear sports bras but those wires are the pits. I have so many bras I could start a shop. In the end the old sport bras are what I wear. Who cares at our age about looking perky all I want to do is be comfortable and alive what other people think does not matter. Sounds like you have been a brave lady for ten years surely this can't get you down. Linda
  • DeeNY711
    DeeNY711 Member Posts: 476 Member
    #3
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    I think if you type the words underwire bras into the SEARCH box above, you will find a few posts on why they are really not a good idea at all for us. I had bilateral mastectomy and cannot tolerate a bra or anything elastic in the whole area. Instead, I use self-shelf camisoles with breast forms. I know that is not an option for you, but when I read your post, I wondered about whether you might want to try what the advertisement calls a Miracle bra, just two cups that somehow stay on, and maybe use a self-shelf camisole with that. The self-shelf part works the way bathing suits hold matters in the right place. I don't think those magic cup things have wires in them, but am really not sure. I salute your courage, and thank you for posting a message that has me thinking that maybe someday I'll be able to post a message saying I had breast cancer ten years ago. As for your mother-in-law and sisters-in-law, give yourself a big beautiful vase full of flowers for even tolerating them in your life. Hats off to you.
    Love,
    Denise
  • hounddog
    hounddog Member Posts: 115
    #4
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    Do not wear a wired bra because if you do the wire will hurt were you had your breast cancer surgery get on line and go to One Hanes Place.com go to special needs they have mastectomy bras the # to the bras is 2987H they do not have wires in them. Believe me the wires hurt and cut in to you I should know because my step-mom bought me underwire bras whenI had my first mastectomy 14 yrs ago in November 1989 and the bras with wires hurt. If people don't like the way you look it is their problem we are the ones that went through surgery not them and they should not laugh at you when you were bald because that is just being rude .I lost my hair and I was scared to go out because I didn't know what to think .
    Marilyn
  • pattyrg
    pattyrg Member Posts: 16
    #5
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    I also liked to wear the sports bras, and bought them too big for the comfort. Now that I have had a 2nd mastectomy, I wear the camisoles. Sports bras are very affordable -- check out your discount department stores. If you pay more than $10 for one, it's probably too much.

    Good luck. And I also salute you for even acknowledging those people are related to your husband.
  • nancyeob
    nancyeob Member Posts: 19
    #6
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    Unbelievable! I noticed your user name and I too will always be a New Yorker. Maybe it's something in the water because I know if I was even speaking to my husbands side of the family they too would have had the exact same reaction.
    After my mastectomy I went to one of these specialty shops that are recommend by the doctors. This prothesis is so heavy and uncomfortable that I used to only wear it when we were going someplace really special. The rest of the time I don't wear anything but men's undershirts. I am in no way big busted but I can't stand wearing it. It does take a little more time picking out clothes so that it isn't too noticeable but I figure I should be proud considering what I've been through missing a breast is nothing. I have been told that they have a light weight prosthesis which I am going to try and as the other ladies have suggested a sports bra.
    Just remember what comes around goes around. Evil people will get what they deserve in the end.

    Nancy
  • SanFranciscan
    SanFranciscan Member Posts: 9
    #7
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    Too bad you couldn't rid yourself of the nasty people in your life at the same time you got rid of the nasty cancer! It infuriates me that their values are so warped and their lives are so empty that they cause you any additional pain by making inappropriate remarks.

    I think if what you're wearing now works for you, keep on wearing what you want and tell your in-laws that if they can't stand to see you like that, it's fine, they can stay the hell out of your sight!!

    But, if getting a bra with a custom fit and no underwires might be of interest, check out Decent Exposures (www.decentexposures.com)

    Best of luck to you.
  • Kathy713
    Kathy713 Member Posts: 6
    #8
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    hounddog said:

    Do not wear a wired bra because if you do the wire will hurt were you had your breast cancer surgery get on line and go to One Hanes Place.com go to special needs they have mastectomy bras the # to the bras is 2987H they do not have wires in them. Believe me the wires hurt and cut in to you I should know because my step-mom bought me underwire bras whenI had my first mastectomy 14 yrs ago in November 1989 and the bras with wires hurt. If people don't like the way you look it is their problem we are the ones that went through surgery not them and they should not laugh at you when you were bald because that is just being rude .I lost my hair and I was scared to go out because I didn't know what to think .
    Marilyn

    I had my masectomy in Jan. 2001. At first I wore some inexpensive close-in-front bras, another breast cancer gal told me about. She had found them in Wal-mart. Later, as I could begin to wear a "real" bra, a friend(had her masectomy around the same time)told me about Bali double support bras. They are wonderful, giving me enough support, no underwires, soft material and even look nice. Interstingly, I have found the Bali Double Support bra in Marshalls and Ross Dress for Less stores for $9.99. What a savings!
    Warners also has a nice bra without underwire - flower charms.
    I also took out the underwires from some of my pre- masectomy bras as they were new.
    Kathy713

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