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What to do with my emotions...

rosebuda's picture
rosebuda
Posts: 2
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi. I'm new to the site. My aunt has cancer in her abdomen & lives in Hungary. The doctors give her a few months to a year to live. I'm going to visit her soon, and the closer it gets to the trip, the more I want to cry. I'd like to get the crying out of my system before I get there, but I'm afraid I won't be able to stop. When I talk to her on the phone I am positive and tell her I'm praying for her, but my gut when I'm alone is like "my aunt is dying" and I can't shake it. She is 49 and I'm 32. She is like a kindred spirit, we can be 5 yrs. old and free. I want to have fun with her and be a 'rock' & not a 'weeping willow'. Any advice?

pitbull
Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2004

Hi Rosebuda,
I have been thinking about your entry ever since I posted mine above yours. I lost my mother to cancer a little over a year ago. From the first day she was diagnosed with the disease I started my morning process. I was wondering how I would handle the floods of emotion that would come with this strange territory. I cried quite a bit, usually by myself, away from people. We all handle things differently, that is part of being human. I made a decision not to fight it. Don't hold back the tears if they come. Don't be ashamed or put off by expressing your grief in this way. I had my mother with us for the last stages of her illness. I cared for her as she did for me. I wanted to show I was strong by doing what was necessary. I didn't hide the tears when they came, and there were plenty of them. My advice is to be yourself and don't hide what you are feeling. Look at it this way, if you were in a bed knowing you had a certain amount of time left, wouldn't you rather look at a willow blowing in the warm breezes instead of a rock? You will do fine, we will all do fine. Sincerely, Al

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