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Inner Peace

aspaysia's picture
aspaysia
Posts: 257
Joined: Nov 2003

The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started. So I looked around the house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished....

Before leaving the house this morning I finished:

1. A bottle of red wine.
2. A bottle of white.
3. The Bailey's.
4. Kahlua.
5. Dregs in the Tequila bottle. Ate the worm.
6. All the Prozac.
7. Some Valium.
8. A cheesecake.
9. My chocolate stash.
10.A can of Reddiwhip leftover from Christmas.

You have no idea how freakin' good I feel...
You must pass this on to others you feel are in need of inner peace...

Aspaysia who will have sugar blues tomorrow.

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Now yu gorn n done it Aspaysia!
After reading your post I now have====

A hernia from my wound-courtesy of rollin on tha floor!

Severe adhesions courtesy of the ball I rolled myself into to alleviate the constant laughing/assoc. pain!

Indigestion/reflux caused by inhaling some of my coffee--which by the way Jen was so kind to make for me n yu made me slobber it!(yu owe me a coffeee--lol)

Severe conjunctivitis re; crying so long, and blocked tear ducts.

The need for a keyboard extension cord if yu keep osting like this. ie; YOUR fault I ripped the old cord out of its socket trying to dash to the bathroom --crying/laughing brought an onset of exreme "runs"--just when I thought I got passed that!(btw--a new pair of undies required--never made the loo in time!)

Scared the hell outa tha cat when I fell on the floor after reading your post--now my dearest friend won't come near me!(AND-am thinking of litigating against you for CAUSING UNTOLD DAMAGE TO MY SELF ESTEEM---my mate happened to be here when I crapped myself--how embarassing)

I never did get to seriously ponder MY thoughts on what I can finish before leaving the house tomorrow norning.Thats because my chemo brain is so messed up now because of you I have forgotten every single thing JEN asked me to do tomorrow AND i am now having to clean up this mess yu have caused for me!

I will remain your friend Aspaysia simply because I fear if I don't my "inner peace" will completely fall apart knowing there is a lady out there who desperately needs some serious support--if not moral--then certainly mental--he he

still sendin hugs kanga n Jen

ps---I am a sweet tooth too--so heres sugar to yah "sugar"

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2084
Joined: Dec 2001

My kids are beginning to wonder what is so friggin funny all the time........

Like I said...reading ASPAYSIA and then Kanga's reply is better than a 2 hour Pilates workout on my gut. There fore I can use that time to seek my inner peace or pull off all the dust bunnies I picked up while rolling on my wood floor.....

hahahahahohohohohhehehehehehe

peace? emily who would go comatose if I followed ASPAYSIA'S recipe on all that sugar! HA!

aspaysia's picture
aspaysia
Posts: 257
Joined: Nov 2003

OK Kanga, either I am still hallucinating from swallowing that worm at the bottom of the Tequila bottle or you really are funnier than Spongebob. I was only holding his coat until he returned but anything could happen out at sea. Stove by a whale, cast adrift, eaten by cannibals. I shudder to think of the perils that await him.

Some of your posts used to get lost in translation but the more familiar I get with the vernacular the more hilarious you become. This last one was a masterpeice. I bow to no one but I tip my hat to you.

Since Emily thinks we make such a good team perhaps we should take our act on the road. Join the USO. Entertain the troops. Oh, look, there's that navy guy...what's his name...Bob who?

Sheepy's picture
Sheepy
Posts: 48
Joined: Nov 2003

I think the way to achieve inner peace is to avoid anything with chillis in it.

pattieb
Posts: 176
Joined: Mar 2003

I'm not quite rolling on the floor yet but you have put a big smile on my face, which I needed this morning. hahahaha Hey Kanga your reply is also helping.
Keep it up
Love ya
Pattie

kangatoo's picture
kangatoo
Posts: 2115
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi guys--ok--for fear of bein ridiculed for not replying to each of you I gotta do tha right thing n give each of you an answer.Seems only right!
Emily-if laughing "is the best medicine" then you better get the kids reading these posts 'cos I reckon it may be a new cure to ward off the big c.
What the hell is Pilates?--is that a new way of rollin on tha floor?Over here we call that "workin up a sweat"--not that I participate, yu understand--Tessie(my cat) only growls when I crawl down to that level!If yu keep rollin on your wood floor then am certain yu will get splinters and add to your woes.If yu go comatose on sugar Emily , it is a tad far for me to administer "mouse to mouse"

K--whoes next?-mmmm---

Aspaysia--now I wasn't trying to steal ythe limelight from Spongebob---far from it--but yu gotta admit while he's away someones gotta keep yu guys active--some-ones gotta put a smile on yer dial--if I can't do it then yu all better put in a for a loan to hire Billy Connely or sompin.
(although metinks billy might be a bit rough for yu guys--he he)
"Venacular"---huh?--is she a good lookin bird?---I can't even spell the word!If yu are havin trouble with my "eeenngggglish" then I should warn yu that OZ is not the place to learn "proper pronunciation"--we are the land of slang--even "he who is on high" has trouble understanding me when I talk to him!
Yes , we could team up Aspaysia--however contrary to your thoughts on entertaining tha troops--leave that to Bob--metinks we would do well to stick to entertaining the local pre-school kids-at least that way if we don't get a laugh we wouldn't be dodging bullets--he he.

next?

Sheepy--I hate chillis!--my backside burns just passing the remnants of 5FU--why would I want to excacerbate my already swollen rear orifice??????

next?

mmmmm--Pattie--last but still on the list.
Luv yah too--just don't get too personal for fear Jen might just read these posts!
She has this thing about me talkin ta strange women--not that she gets angry--far from it--just has a habit of clippin me around the earhole to keep me in line--lol

Your quote--"keep it up?"--not sure what yu mean but hopefully yu was referrin to keep the humour flowing!
Well--there is a time n a place for everything and this thread seemed like a good place to roll it on--YU CAN BLAME ASPAYSIA FOR THAT!
(she who has an uncanny ability to see the brighter side of life)
seriously guys--luv yu all--if we can't have a chuckle once in a while then I fear all is lost.
huggies , kanga n Jen "she who is ALWAYS obeyed--lol"

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Aspaysia and Kanga,
I'm a little late on replying to some postings, but youse guys are a riot....just some Pittsburgh, PA vernacular sneaking in...and Kanga, she is not a pretty sight.
Kanga, we spend part of our summer at a camp for families in Maine (USA?) and there are always counselors from Australia and New Zealand who are on their year long trips to see the world. Hate to sound biased, but they always are a great bunch of young people, big hearts, big smiles, down to earth. And I love to hear them pronounce my son Zach's name!
Thanks for the laughs, both of you! Judy

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