could use a friend

sillyspirit · January 2004

Hi.. I sure could use a friend that has or had breast cancer and is able to move on with life in a positive way. I had caught my cancer in the first stage, very early but I find myself getting depressed and even wrote my will. but I know in my heart women can survive 10 to 20 years. I can't talk to my family since it upsets them so much. I'm a survivor of Hodkins but this cancer is more tricky and I can't seem to deal with it. love to hear from anyone who knows how I feel.

Westside · January 2004

Hello. I am also a breast cancer patient/survivor. There is something about talking with someone who really knows first hand. People have tried to imagine and family has to deal with their own pain. You can email me and we can talk. take care

59Tammy · January 2004

I often feel the same way you do. I have 3 boys that I have to stay positive for, which has helped in some ways and hurt in others. My family isn't one that I feel comfortable talking to since they all "flip out" over everything! Email me, would love to talk more!

bturner · January 2004

Hey, I can certainly relate to your feelings. I too caught my breast cancer very early and all my logic tells me that many women live many years without problems. However, I still find myself getting depressed, anxious over every little symptom, etc. I also have difficulty talking to my family for the same reasons, I just don't want to upset them. I pray alot for strength to get through those feelings when they occur and I try to keep busy to keep my mind occupied with other things. It's a tough journey, good luck. Billie.

jrowe · January 2004

Hi...I can definitely relate to your feelings. They tell me I caught my cancer early and I have completed chemo and am half way done with radiation. Sometimes I feel positive and sometimes I get so scared I don't know if I can go on. Expressing these feelings to family is hard, even though I have a very supportive family. Not wanting to express your fear to them is an issue too. I pray for strength to help me manage these times. It also helps me to talk to those that are survivors, it gives me help. You can e-mail me if you would like. rrowe@newnorth.net God Bless You and take care. There are a lot of us out there who understand your feelings.

jake10 · January 2004

coming to this site was a God send to me. You all knew exactly what I was feeling. My cancer was also caught early and yes I was lucky but at times I felt most unlucky. God, they had chopped off my breast, removed the fat in my belly, moved it under the skin up to my empty breast and sewed it in. I had drains, wounds, holes, and to top everything, I had a pubic hair on my new breast. Life was not good. But I was lucky.
hiding all your fear and anxiety from your family is immposible. When you have sane moments talk to them and tell them what you are going through. They will not understand it all, but they will feel better for being included. When speaking to children and telling them you are fine, they know you are lying. So tell them what you are experiencing in words they can understand and to a level they can understand.
Then come here and rant and rave at the injustice of it all. We've been there and will be here for you! Love, Beth

SweetSue · January 2004

It's normal to be fearful at times, but I decided living in fear is not living. If we do everything the doctor tells us, we have about an 85% chance of surviving. I know a lady who had breast cancer over 30 years ago; she's outlived her 3 friends , who were most worried about her.
I know many people who fret and fret over their health, and usually their worst fears don't materialize...good thing.
Remember, DON"T WORRY UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT. And if that happens, my philosophy is I'LL JUST DEAL WITH IT.
JUst keep getting your regular check-ups.
TAke care,
Sue

Sandis · January 2004

jrowe said:
Hi...I can definitely relate to your feelings. They tell me I caught my cancer early and I have completed chemo and am half way done with radiation. Sometimes I feel positive and sometimes I get so scared I don't know if I can go on. Expressing these feelings to family is hard, even though I have a very supportive family. Not wanting to express your fear to them is an issue too. I pray for strength to help me manage these times. It also helps me to talk to those that are survivors, it gives me help. You can e-mail me if you would like. rrowe@newnorth.net God Bless You and take care. There are a lot of us out there who understand your feelings.

I know how you feel. I finished chemo in August and am generally upbeat. Today I have a cold in my chest and my arm hurts and I'm sure the cancer is in my lungs and arm. (Not logically, and definately not something I'd say to a friend, but something you'd probably understand.). Sandi

sillyspirit · January 2004

SweetSue said:
It's normal to be fearful at times, but I decided living in fear is not living. If we do everything the doctor tells us, we have about an 85% chance of surviving. I know a lady who had breast cancer over 30 years ago; she's outlived her 3 friends , who were most worried about her.
I know many people who fret and fret over their health, and usually their worst fears don't materialize...good thing.
Remember, DON"T WORRY UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT. And if that happens, my philosophy is I'LL JUST DEAL WITH IT.
JUst keep getting your regular check-ups.
TAke care,
Sue

it's the unknown that drives ya nuts, I just read 2 success stories of 20+ year suvivors that had caught it early like myself, all they needed was sugery and no treatments. but, it will always be a worry in back of my mind. every pain I get no matter where, my brain says..OH NO CANCER IS THERE. haha..... your right...dont worry til there is something "real" to worry about. anyone wants to write and talk e mail please at...sillyspirit88@yahoo.com

shoop · January 2004

Cancer can be one of the scariest words you'll ever hear as you well know. But survivor is also the strongest word you'll ever hear (a lot stronger than cancer)and now you can now say that you are a survivor twice over. I understand that you worry about what's next. I have 2 great role models that have helped me my Mom and my Aunt, both of them have been great to show me that you can make it (it has been several years for both of then since diagnosis). If you can find someone to talk to it definitely gives you the hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that light is all the other survivors holding there light to welcome you.

sassysally · January 2004

Silly one, I am a three time breast cancer survivor. It seems it has been part of my life always. Runs in my family, so have seen it my whole life. I was 28 the first time, 36 the second and 40 the third.... not how I wanted a breast reduction. In between the first two I had my son. He is now 9. There is life beyond cancer. You cant let it run your life. It will always be in the back of your mind, dont give it the prominent place in the front. Live your life. live it for yourself....not the diease. Hang in there, it does get easier. Laugh often live much.... LOVE LIFE. My grandmother had breast cancer twice, and lived to be 95. I plan on passing that age by a mile. We are all here for you. Thanks for sharing with me.

marynjnurse · January 2004

sassysally said:
Silly one, I am a three time breast cancer survivor. It seems it has been part of my life always. Runs in my family, so have seen it my whole life. I was 28 the first time, 36 the second and 40 the third.... not how I wanted a breast reduction. In between the first two I had my son. He is now 9. There is life beyond cancer. You cant let it run your life. It will always be in the back of your mind, dont give it the prominent place in the front. Live your life. live it for yourself....not the diease. Hang in there, it does get easier. Laugh often live much.... LOVE LIFE. My grandmother had breast cancer twice, and lived to be 95. I plan on passing that age by a mile. We are all here for you. Thanks for sharing with me.

Silly one, I had a bilateral mastectomy last Friday,Jan 23rd,2004. I'm home less than a week,drove myself to the post op visit,doing my arm exercises and even washed my hair yesterday. You ARE a lot stronger than you think!!The waiting is the hardest part. Once you get info you can deal with the treatments. Make plans, set goals, for tomorrow...:) Write me whenever you want to..Hugs to you and god Bless

lynne40 · January 2004

Hi, No you are not alone. We all have felt, angry, scared, fearful, determined, depressed,hopeful, stressed, see just by listing the feelings, they go up and down. It is hard to talk to your family at times I too have a very supportive family but at the end of the day I am the one doing battle with this disease. My kids are older so I told them from the beginning that I can't guarantee I will be a "good example" for fighting cancer. For once I can't be the strong "Mom" I will just be me. 3 months out from treatment they tell me I was OK most of the time but it helped that I was honest with them. The flip side to this is my 17 year old found a lump a few months ago, and just told us. I got her to the doc ASAP starting with our pediatrician. I was flipping out inside because I KNOW all of the emotions and then I did worry if I'd set a positive enough example! As for now they are watching it will do another ultrasound in July. These boards have been a god send for me. Be positive when you can and allow yourself to feel bad when it hits. There is no right way to do this thing. E mail me anytime Hang in there.
Lynne

jingle · January 2004

Spirit,

I'm wondering if it would help you to visit the NCI site for the Office of Cancer Survivorship? Cut and paste http://dccps.nci.nih.gov/ocs/. It is a fairly recent NCI creation i believe, but the office is charged with studying issues facing survivors, both physiological and psychological.

During treatment there is such a flurry of ongoing activity (bloodwork, f/u, ct scans, getting chemo, dealing with side effects,etc) that there is no mistaking that I (oh! and an *expert* medical team) are battling the problem----taking a major offensive.

Once treatment is complete, the activity pendulum more or less swings the other way and there are long periods of just "wait and see". I can't help but wonder that such a major change from action to inaction is not a difficult adjustment for many of us. Feels more like waiting to be ambushed, no?

And having to go through this a second time, you know the traumatic waiting that lies ahead. Perhaps making it even more difficult for you?

I also had Hodgkin's previously and now breast cancer. Hodgkin's having turned out so well, I took the exact opposite stance that you did----I'm not worried at all (denial) about the breast cancer(stage IIb invasive ductal). I think its a different way of dealing with the agonistic "wait and see" period which essentially lasts all the rest of our lives, no?

Also, I declined all treatment other than mastectomy. So let me be the first to tell you (in case you overlooked this about yourself) that you are one courageous woman! I'm thinking that if you can do cancer treatment for two different cancers, waiting around for another bolt of lightning is going to get easier as time goes by. By golly, you're almost an expert at it.

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to come to these boards to vent, and am wondering if there is not a support group near you where you might vent in person? There is no one who can understand like someone "who's been there, done that".

Wishing you no more lightening bolts,
Gerry AKA Jingle

jingle · January 2004

Spirit,

My signature on the previous post is poorly worded, please forgive me. I did *not* mean to imply that you would be hit by another bolt of lightening. Rather I meant to imply that the odds of cancer lightning once again hitting you are too astronomical.

If there is ever another bolt for you it is BOUND to be the winning MEGA-MILLION LOTTERY ticket.

I believe the survival stats of early stage breast cancer are not that different from Hodgkin's, no? And them's good odds!

Gerry

kas123 · February 2004

marynjnurse said:
Silly one, I had a bilateral mastectomy last Friday,Jan 23rd,2004. I'm home less than a week,drove myself to the post op visit,doing my arm exercises and even washed my hair yesterday. You ARE a lot stronger than you think!!The waiting is the hardest part. Once you get info you can deal with the treatments. Make plans, set goals, for tomorrow...:) Write me whenever you want to..Hugs to you and god Bless

Glad you are having a great recovery. Did you choose to remove the 2nd breast for preventative reasons? I'm a survior and feel the need to remove the healthy breast?

dstarnes · February 2004

Hang in there! It's been 5 yrs this Nov for me. I'm a cancer/survivor, caught early also. Went through chemo and radiation and tamoxiphen. Had to have hysterectomy in Oct because of polyphs caused by tamox. The depression seems to be a common factor with most of the women I know, that have had BC; including myself. Just hang in there, confide in a friend = that helped me alot.
You are welcome to email me anytime. Deana

sillyspirit · February 2004

jingle said:
Spirit,

I'm wondering if it would help you to visit the NCI site for the Office of Cancer Survivorship? Cut and paste http://dccps.nci.nih.gov/ocs/. It is a fairly recent NCI creation i believe, but the office is charged with studying issues facing survivors, both physiological and psychological.

During treatment there is such a flurry of ongoing activity (bloodwork, f/u, ct scans, getting chemo, dealing with side effects,etc) that there is no mistaking that I (oh! and an *expert* medical team) are battling the problem----taking a major offensive.

Once treatment is complete, the activity pendulum more or less swings the other way and there are long periods of just "wait and see". I can't help but wonder that such a major change from action to inaction is not a difficult adjustment for many of us. Feels more like waiting to be ambushed, no?

And having to go through this a second time, you know the traumatic waiting that lies ahead. Perhaps making it even more difficult for you?

I also had Hodgkin's previously and now breast cancer. Hodgkin's having turned out so well, I took the exact opposite stance that you did----I'm not worried at all (denial) about the breast cancer(stage IIb invasive ductal). I think its a different way of dealing with the agonistic "wait and see" period which essentially lasts all the rest of our lives, no?

Also, I declined all treatment other than mastectomy. So let me be the first to tell you (in case you overlooked this about yourself) that you are one courageous woman! I'm thinking that if you can do cancer treatment for two different cancers, waiting around for another bolt of lightning is going to get easier as time goes by. By golly, you're almost an expert at it.

I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to come to these boards to vent, and am wondering if there is not a support group near you where you might vent in person? There is no one who can understand like someone "who's been there, done that".

Wishing you no more lightening bolts,
Gerry AKA Jingle

Jingle...Wow I'm not the only person who won Hodkins but paying the price and getting BC. I feel BC is different than Hodkins, after 5 years with hodkins your told "cured" (at least 26 years ago they said that) but with BC ya never know and that is what drives me nuts. I'm not on any chemo or rad. can't have any rad because of so much was used on me when I had hodkins ( I used it all up I guess). soooo I'm hanging in there and praying God will help me once again.

PattyG · February 2004

sillyspirit said:
it's the unknown that drives ya nuts, I just read 2 success stories of 20+ year suvivors that had caught it early like myself, all they needed was sugery and no treatments. but, it will always be a worry in back of my mind. every pain I get no matter where, my brain says..OH NO CANCER IS THERE. haha..... your right...dont worry til there is something "real" to worry about. anyone wants to write and talk e mail please at...sillyspirit88@yahoo.com

Hi, I'm new. It's such a relief to see what everyone has written here. I, too, caught my breast cancer very early. I opted for a mastectomy because I was fairly confident that it hadn't spread, and I wanted to avoid radiation at all costs. My gamble paid off and now I've completed my expansion treatments and am awaiting final reconstruction surgery. No chemo, no radiation, but I sometimes wonder "is it really gone?" I don't think that way often, but when I do it's pretty overwhelming. And this will sound really weird, and I'd love to hear if anyone else has felt like this, but I feel guilty that I didn't suffer enough. From the time I was diagnosed to the time I had surgery, followed by a clean pathology report, was just a month. Now I belong to this wonderful, elite group of fantastic women who have survived breast cancer, but I don't feel as though I earned my place here. Is that crazy?

ccjj · February 2004

Hey! I was borderline between stage 3 and 4. And here I am ten years later with no signs of recurrence. My mother is a 35 year survivor of breast cancer. Eat healthy and exercise if you can. The exercise is good for stress and well as physical health. It also helps me emotionally to see my doctor regularly--just for a check up. By the way, in the ten years, I have traveled all over Europe, Australia, New Zealand, Central America and all over in the US, too. I bought a house, too--huge financial obligation.

could use a friend

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