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He knows I am scared, but not how to help

workinprogress
Posts: 3
Joined: Dec 2003

Hi,
I am in the 14th month of treatment for what should have been a short bout with cervical cancer.

we have frozen, we have scraped, we have irradiated. Still it returns.

One of my best friends is a guy I have known for 20 some years. he is a big burley bear of a guy and has always known me well enough to advise on any topic.

This one stumps him and I think scares him a little. we had a huge fight tonight about support groups. He was pro. I was con.

What it came down to for me was I am as scared of the support group as I am my illness. What it came down to for him was that I might be better served by some people who have acually experienced the same thing than those who only love me.

As he says I am stubborn and independant. I am 47 and have been on my own since I was 22. I have a problem widening my circle to include new people. Hense the fear of the group.

He was so insistant that I felt compelled to try. When I suggested the online approach I finally received the first calm email of our battle royal.

So shaking in my shoes, this is me. A work in progress!

pattieb
Posts: 176
Joined: Mar 2003

Dear work in progress
Your friend is right you need to talk to people who can listen and really understand what you are going through regardless of what type of cancer they or you have. I was dx with stage 4 colon cancer but because my tumor exploded before I had surgery and after chemo I developed 2 spots on my cervics and had rads for that which caused me to get scar tissue and now I have 2 more spots which they are going to treat with a test program after the holidays so heres hoping that it gets rid of them and I don't have to have anymore radation. But it has helped me to go into the disscussion board and go in to the chat room to talk to people to have the same feelings that I have. Don't get me wrong my friends have been a good support group but they really don't understand the feelings I have about alot of things. Its ok to be scared we all are. But you have to be strong also and that is hard sometimes. Good luck and hope to see you in the chat room sometime.
Pattie

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