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I could use some advice.

DW24
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2003

After weeks of testing we have just found out that my father has stage IV lung cancer. It has spread to his lymphnodes and bones. I am trying to make the most out of every second that my father and I spend together.
My mother is the problem. She has spent nearly 26 years living for him. I can't imagine what she is feeling, but she has been in hysterics from the moment cancer was brought up. I know her therapist has prescibed anti depressants, but she refuses to take anything due to the fear of him needing something and her not being able to respond. She refuses to leave his side, and sobs uncontrollably most of the time. I know that this isn't healthy for either of my parents, and I don't know what to do. I have expressed my fears but it doesn't seem to make a difference. Maybe I am way off base and this is a normal part of the process, but as of right now I feel like both of my parent's are losing the battle.

jkeen
Posts: 33
Joined: Nov 2002

Hello, my name is Jackie I am 35 and have stage 3b NSCLC and yes crying and all the emotions is part of the process, but then there is a time to get stronge and start the fight. You should just try to be there for both of your parents and try to get your mom to realize that your dad is going to need her stronge. Cancer is hard on everyone and people who have been together along time it is as if they both have it. Your mom needs to know that she will be fine and so will your dad, just enjoy every day you have together and stay stronge for your parents.

Billy'sDaughter
Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2003

dw:
my name is Jennifer and I recently lossed my father to stage 4 non small cell lung cancer.
My hopes are that your father is in a physical position to pursue treatment and has the opportunity to try and fight this. I understand completely the emotional plight you and your mother are going through, not to mention what your dad is feeling. Please email me at colucci@medscape.com. I would be more than happy to share anything with you or give you some words of support.
I'm sorry that you are all having to go through this.
Jen

cbecker
Posts: 89
Joined: Sep 2002

my husband had throat cancer and then it spread to the lungs and he has 15 tumors in both lungs but we both are fighting and there is alot at there. Tell your mom to put her time into being strong and finding out what to do for her hubby, there is alot out there. The new drug Iressa is for lung cancer. Also I highly recommend the book "The Power of Crying Out" please get it a read it to both your parents. It helped me. I went on an antidepressent and tell your mom it does not interfer with her ability to support her husband. I take zoloft and it helps you to cope with this disease and help your love one. She needs to get strong for him so he can get strong to fight this. positive thinking is half the battle. God's love to you all, Candy

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