Jul 14, 2003 - 1:37 pm
Hi. I am 33 and was diagnosed with Hodgkin's stage 4b last September. I have undergone 6 months of ABVD. The gallium scan after treatment indicated there may still be a node with cancer in my chest. I am awaiting a PET scan to determine whether there is residual cancer. If there is then I will need an autologous bone marrow transplant. I am not just coping with the cancer as the Hodkin's came in the same year I lost my 2 1/2 month old baby girl. She had Trisomy 18 and those 2 and 1/2 months were spent in and out of hospitals waiting for her to die.
I have so much fear and anger and hopelessness built up that I don't know what to do. I have strong family and friend support to talk to but at times it seems like everyone is just going on with their happy lives and I am left behind in pain. They all have their 2 kids and house in the burbs and it makes me so angry. I want some reassurance that this is all going to turn out well but I lost that kind of hope and belief in life with the death of my daughter. I guess I just wanted to hear from anyone who has been through this hell and has been able to have a family.
Thanks for listening.