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Dad with Lung Cancer

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casey1313
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2003

Hi there. My Dad has had chemo only 3 times. He has been diagnosed with stage IV non-small cell lung and lymph node cancer. My family all lives in separate towns all over Florida and we try to go home as much as possible to help my Mom out. My Dad is extremely stubborn and has lost so much weight he is now down to 128 lbs. and the Dr. says he cannot have chemo( the super strong version he was getting) anymore. He is scheduled for a blood transfusion this Tues. He mad a comment to me on the phone just this afternoon that "the old man is just to far gone" and I am at my emotional end trying to deal with this. Can anyone give me some advise or does anyone else have a stubborn 60 year old ex-military Dad...and how to help his spirits? My family is in a place of limbo...and none of us know what to do or feel. This is such an ugly thing for anyone to have to go through, and my heart goes out to everyone who is stuck in this boat!
Thanks for listening!

Billy'sDaughter
Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2003

Hello and welcome!
I 110% empathize with your family's struggle right now. I lost my 59 yr old father to Lung Cancer, non small cell this past march after a 7 week battle. You can find his story on the previous discussion pages here or just search by my sign on billy'sdaughter. You need to prepare yourselves for the possibility that your dad may not make it, rally around him and eachother at this time. My dad said a similar thing, "It just wasn't in the cards for me Jen", that statement haunts me to this day and probably will for the rest of my life. Anytime you wish to connect, email me at colucci@medscape.com.

My best wishes to you and your family, you will be in my prayers and thoughts.

Jen

bygrace
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2003

Casey, don't leave anything unsaid. Tell your dad that you love him and that you appreciate everything he has done for you. Forgive him for not being perfect... none of us are.. and when your dad passes on you don't want to be sorry for leaving anything unsaid. I went thru this with my dad and it was heartbreaking. It is a common symptom of the lung cancer that they can't eat. I am thankful that my dad and I talked often about how much we loved each other. Be as supportive and patient as you can... it is worth it. God bless you, Terri

bygrace
Posts: 25
Joined: Mar 2003

Casey, don't leave anything unsaid. Tell your dad that you love him and that you appreciate everything he has done for you. Forgive him for not being perfect... none of us are.. and when your dad passes on you don't want to be sorry for leaving anything unsaid. I went thru this with my dad and it was heartbreaking. It is a common symptom of the lung cancer that they can't eat. I am thankful that my dad and I talked often about how much we loved each other. Be as supportive and patient as you can... it is worth it. God bless you, Terri

MaryAnnsgirl
Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2003

My Mom just went into hospice 2 days ago, and is not doing well. She lives out of state, and I just got back from seeing her. Just let your Dad know how much you love him, and be there as much as you possibly can. Our family is in shock right now, with just finding out my Mom had lung cancer in April. We are trying our best to be there for my Dad, he's been married to Mom for 42 years, it is taking a toll on him. When I've offered to come out, he doesn't think I need to, but once I come, he's so thankful that I'm there to support him. Cherish all your family, and let them know you care...I am feeling your pain, it all seems like a very bad dream, hang in there!

LMY36B
Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2003

My dad is starting hospice today after a year and a half long battle with small-cell lung cancer. He has had the same difficulties of not being able to eat often and missing chemo treatments as a result. It is frustrating and upsetting but try to remember that your dad is doing the best he can. We don't know what they are going through, so it easy sometimes to wish they would try harder. I am trying to tell myself that it is not my disease, so I will accept how my dad chooses to fight or not fight it. My dad is very stubborn too and does not always share things about his illness-doctors keep asking him if he wants something for his pain, but he claims he has none. We don't know if that is true, or if he is just trying to be tough. Hang in there, and just give all the support that you can!

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